The Optimystic Ride

My Opalescent Experience

2011-04-05T23:18:00.000-07:00

Monday marked the total end of an era for me. Over thirteen years ago I married Charles Grimsby. I have carried the weight of the “GRIM”-sby name for that long. When we were finally divorced in May of 2010, I had the chance to change my name, but the timing was totally off for me as I was headlong into the Next Top Author contest. I put a name change on my wish list, knowing the right time would become clear. That time is NOW!

As I contemplated changing my name, I knew I wanted to pick something that clearly reflected the essence of who I am. I scoured my mind for memories of the most significant experiences in my life. I came up with pages and pages of notes, leading me to wonder if anyone ever wrote their memoir as a series. LOL!!

One of the most transformative experiences of my life happened sitting in the Reading Room, as my kids called it, in the big old farmhouse where we lived for years. I had recently attended a workshop in North Caroline with Drunvalo Melchizadek. While there, I met someone who told me to get my hands on a set of cassette tapes (YES, it was years ago.) about remote viewing. Upon returning, I got them. One day, I decided to listen to a tape before starting to make dinner. It was a weird time of the day to do any meditative type exercise, but at least I wouldn’t fall asleep like I sometimes did after dinner.

I believe it was the 2nd time I listened to the first tape. I totally ‘went out,’ not even hearing the guided meditation. As I did, I was instantly surrounded by white, as if walking in a thick, puffy cloud; a timeless, formless, eternal, space. I was without a body. There was nothing there except for shiny, sparkly, little flecks of color which reminded me of floating inside of an Opal. It was impossible to tell if I was moving because there was nothing else present with which to measure any movement, no body, no objects, no people, not even “me.”

As soon as I realized that, the sound of something akin to waves began rushing into my head. It was then I felt a powerful energy hit my chest in a completely tangible, palpable manner. Wave after wave of the most delightful, completely loving, omniscient, Divine energy crashed into my body. Today, even the mere thought of this energy brings tears to me. I have only on rare occasion experienced anything anywhere close to that and all I can say is that those experiences were not in the 3D realm either.

I’ve come to refer to this as my “Opalescent Experience” and can find no other manner to describe or explain it. All I can offer each and every one of you right now is this: There is a force of Love out there so strong and so overwhelmingly powerful and all encompassing that I cannot even begin to describe its magnitude.

I carry the experience of this power deep within my Soul. As a way of reminding myself that THIS is what life is really about, I have changed my name to:

Gina Maria Opalescent.

WITH OPALESCENT LOVE,
Gina Maria

LIVING FULLY

2011-04-04T00:03:00.000-07:00

Every single day in my life is so richly full. At every turn, with every breath, in each moment, life itself flows with such beauty, strength and passion, I find it hard to explain.

While working, on the phone with clients who are parents of children with disabilities attempting to advocate for their children in situations that could easily be viewed as grim, I help them figure out possibilities, methods and tools for cooperation and collaboration with schools, as together we brainstorm multitudes of options in an attempt to work with the system. The creative ideas and inspiration we feed each other astounds me on call after call, as I am filled with the sensation that the ideas and creative possibilities that occur to me are much larger than I myself ever could be.

In my personal life, as I get ideas of places, people or things I’d like to pursue, day after day, I watch pieces fall into place. At times, seemingly impossible yet deeply desired experiences come together easily and gracefully, step by step.

People appear, connections are made, more ideas pop into my Heart and Soul. I have visions of where I’d love to go, but I guess I’m wise enough to know the road bends, turns and swerves sharply at times, contributing to the adventure and keeping my eyes, ears and Heart open enough to the space of Infinite Possibility.

Tonight I spent a few hours with my son, Rodrigo, while driving and listening to music, and to him talk of Phrygian dominant, modes, diminished seventh chords, harmonics, unusual chord sequences…. His burning passion and understanding is clear, and while I don’t understand half of it theoretically, intuitively, I follow closely. Our time and conversations are accompanied by abundant, hysterical laughing and tears, as together we tag team quips and lines which perhaps someday will be shared.

Upon arriving home, I found this overwhelming beautiful TED talk by Eric Whitacre summing up the deep feeling of connection and fullness many of us desire to share. http://www.ted.com/talks/eric_whitacre_a_virtual_choir_2_000_voices_strong.html

This short video truly represents the degree of intensity, passion and connection with which I live. I had to pause it within the first two minutes I was laughing so hard, as Mr. Whitacre reminds me of my son.

Eric’s talk, the work I am now doing, and my son’s passion remind me that holding back, slowing down or giving ourselves over to doubt or fear are only ways in which we can seriously deny the opportunities available to live more authentically and honestly in the vast Divine potential that exists within each of us. I say, “Stretch, grow and allow yourself to brilliantly shine in all the grace and glory that you are.”

I wish for each of you, a fully lived live!!

BLESSINGS BEYOND BORDERS(C),

Gina Villa-Grimsby
PS More tomorrow!!

My Archetypes at Work

2011-03-20T18:27:00.000-07:00

I just finished my 2nd week working as a Parent Information Specialist for WI FACETS Parent Training and Information Center grant. PTICs exist across the country. I help parents of children with disabilities navigate the Sp. Ed. system. There is a ton to know, we cover all disabilities and rarely do we get 2 calls that are the same.

In 2 weeks I’ve made over 65 contacts with parents, professionals who support them, other agencies, other advocates, been in on several training sessions attended a weekend workshop specifically on transitioning from high school to post secondary or work-related environments. That workshop was with my son, after all, I got involved with the disability community as an advocate for him.

While still very difficult to significantly measure after only two weeks, some of the principal themes that run through many of the conversational fall into one of several categories:

- Information – in which parents have specific questions as to how this whole systems works or want specific information regarding a specific disability. These calls are relatively easy, as we have an abundant supply of resources from either national organizations or specific local groups to which I can refer them.

- Training – Parents call with questions regarding an aspect of the system with which they will most likely be dealing for a number of years. In these cases, we not only provide information materials, but also direct them to the vast webinar trainings we provide.

- Support – Some parents just need support. They need someone else who can hear them, someone who is able to listen carefully and offer feedback, if asked, so they know they are on the ‘right’ track. Some like to hear another parent’s experiences, or they just want to know they aren’t losing their minds.

- Procedural – There are many, many, many steps, procedures and measures that must be taken to ensure that student and parent’s rights are being properly upheld. This is the area where things can get quite sticky. Everything required is clearly spelled out by the Department of Public Instruction (DPI), WI statutes etc. Yet, sometimes things just don’t go the way they are ‘supposed to’ go.

After yet another conversation with a father regarding a situation in the third category above, it suddenly hit me, the Archetypal parts of me that have been super activated in this position are:

- The compassionate Scholar/Student/Guide, as I help teach others, learn a ton myself, and Guide parents to what they need for their children and themselves.

- The Networker, as I tap into and pass on information from other service providers, local, state and national agencies, support groups and a lengthy and growing etc.

- My Liberator/Alchemist/Mystic is in constant contact, as I get strong intuitive hits on how to handle situations and read people even in phone conversations.

- Finally, most undoubtedly, the Judge, as I continually call others to Integrity so things function according to the plan. This is difficult part as I wish I could just wave a magic wand. It isn’t quite that easy. Still,I have never given up yet and encourage parents not to either!!

If you want more information or know of someone who could use this, go to http://wifacets.org

BLESSINGS BEYOND BORDERS©,

Gina

Same Book, New Chapter

2011-03-10T18:49:00.001-08:00

Straight from headquarters, now it is official!!

Life has taken an amazingly wonderful turn, FINALLY!!! I am wrapping up just a few loose ends from prior ‘unfinished business,’ after that, it is no holds barred!!!

While there is a learning curve to my new position, I am overjoyed about being able to fulfill this role in service to education and to people who are differently abled and to making a difference.

For Immediate Release:

Villa-Grimsby to Serve as WI FACETS

Parent Information Specialist -

Zone 1

MILWAUKEE, WI USA, March 8, 2011: WI FACETS, a statewide provider of training and support for parents of children with disabilities and professionals who support them, is pleased to announce the hiring of Gina Villa-Grimsby as Parent Information Specialist serving WI FACETS' Statewide Zone 1 covering: Adams, Barron, Buffalo, Burnett, Chippewa, Clark, Columbia, Crawford, Dane, Dodge, Dunn, Eau Claire, Grant, Green, Green Lake, Iowa, Jackson, Jefferson, Juno, Kenosha, La Crosse, Lafayette, Marathon, Marquette, Milwaukee (not city), Monroe, Pepin, Pierce, Polk, Portage, Richland, Rock, Sauk, St. Croix, Trempealeau, Vernon, Walworth, Waushara and Wood counties.

Gina served as a long time volunteer parent leader for WI FACETS before assuming her position as Parent Information Zone Specialist at WI FACETS. She has B.A. degrees in Political Science and Spanish, with a minor in Women's Studies and also has her Masters degree in Divinity.

Gina lived in Spain for 15 years and is bilingual in Spanish at a native level. She worked as a Case Manager for a federal Child Abuse Prevention Respite Care program at La Causa, Milwaukee; for UW-Marinette as Program Director for a foreign exchange program run through USAID with George Washington University; and most recently for CESA 8 as a distance learning network Spanish Teacher.

Gina is the parent of a teenage son with autism who also has grant writing experience for the Autism Society of Southeastern WI (ASSEW). That grant was awarded by The Milwaukee Foundation.

"I greatly enjoy helping parents understand what can be, at times, a rather complex and confusing process of dealing with Special Education. I look forward to continuing to serve families with WI FACETS," Villa-Grimsby said, regarding her new role. She added, "As a parent of a young adult with Autism and having a disability myself, I am well aware of the difficulties that both parents of children with disabilities as well as people with disabilities in general face on a daily basis. My mission is to empower parents by giving them options, tools and helpful techniques to assist their children succeed regardless of what type of disability the child may have. I've always been one to focus more on the positive side and see their abilities."

Gina can be reached at Gina@wifacets.org or by calling 877-554-7309.
WI FACETS, Inc. is a non-profit agency founded in 1995. WI FACETS provides statewide training, information and support to children and adults with disabilities, their families and others who support them.
For additional information, please visit: www.wifacets.org or call 1-877-374-0511.

BLESSINGS BEYOND BORDERS©,

Gina

Are You Courageous?

2011-03-05T19:33:00.000-08:00

I share this powerful TED link with you because it spoke so incredibly deeply to my Heart. For about the past year, I have come here sharing my vulnerabilities with courage. I have shared dreams and longings, victories and lessons, my deep yearning for connection, and my ongoing struggle for worthiness and sense of belonging.

There is so incredibly much more to share. I have chapters and chapters of different “adventures” that have not yet completely unfolded to the extent that I am able to share them. If it were up to me, I’d let them rip roar wide open and spill them all, but I always have someone, not even my own still small voice of consciousness, advising me against my Heart’s longing to reveal it all. That is when I sit still and quietly weigh the scales and realize they are right. Then I conclude I need to wait until I’m able to tell WHOLE, COMPLETE, FINISHED stories in order that others may become even more inspired to take similar action, take a stand, and creatively and tenaciously follow through with their own hopes, dreams, intuition, and guidance.

For now, I wish you the courage to really FEEL WORTHY of connection, love, and belonging in spite of your “perceived” imperfection. Dr. Brené Brown says it beautifully, from the Heart!!

BLESSINGS BEYOND BORDERS©,

Gina Villa-Grimbsy

Click for Clean Water in Cameroon

2011-02-23T23:53:00.000-08:00

Not long ago, I attended a workshop on Dream work given by my friend Margaret. She does brilliant dream work, and because she is so amazing, I decided to go. “She is highly intuitive,” is an understatement. During the course of the evening, while people were sharing, she asked a young man from Cameroon, Africa to share his dream. He is known as Farmer Tantoh, (FT). He told his story. I later recorded it to get it right. Here it is.

FT: I was fifteen years old, back in 1996.

Me: Okay.

FT: Yeah, I was a teenager, and my father was very sick, so by then I was in High School, in tenth grade. We were studying about California’s agriculture and water, it caught my instincts and I told my dad, because I had the intuition that he was going to die one day because he was very sick.

I told my father, “I want to study agriculture and environmental protection, because it is going to take me to America one day, and the first place I want to visit in this world is California, USA.” And I wrote on the wall of my room, “California, USA.” Someday I will get to this place.

Me: *Gasps*

FT: Yeah. And my dad told me, “How come? We are poor. We don’t have money. We barely have food. How are you going to get there?” And I told my dad, “Someday I will get there. And I just have to start protecting the soil, planting crops, protecting the environment.” And my dad just told me, “If you believe in yourself, one day you shall get there.” So… So a few months later, he passed away, and that is when I started working hard, every day, keeping my records, writing my stories down, and… And then eleven years later, I was chosen to represent Africa, and the first place they took us to visit was California, USA, where I had dreamed of visiting and what I had written on the wall. And that was eleven years later.

Me: *nearly in tears* That is the most beautiful, moving story.

Today, Tantoh is studying in Green Bay, WI and has become involved in a very important competition which would provide another well in an area of the world in which people are walking seven (7) miles to get water.

Farmer Tantoh founded and currently coordinates the Save Your Future Association (SYFA; www.africasyfa.org). His project would provide Nkambe, a village in the Northwest Region of Cameroon, with a well. It is a rural region of Africa where the World Health Organization estimates that only 44% of the population has access to clean, reliable water. The rest of the province's 1.2 million inhabitants drink from streams and lakes polluted with human and animal waste.

To make a difference in many lives, just click http://bit.ly/ClickCleanWater Once you see the picture, look at the blue box on the right. If it says vote received, refresh the page. PLEASE, vote once a day until March 22.

Farmer Tantoh represents a beam of Hope for his country. Soon he will return there. Today, his biggest dream is to win this competition. Just Click for Clean Water in Cameroon. It is that easy!!

BLESSINGS BEYOND BORDERS©,

Gina Villa-Grimsby

Thank you unionized workers of Wisconsin!

2011-02-22T09:41:00.000-08:00

I'm betting most readers do not know I am a Political Science major from the University of Wisconsin - Madison, where we are experiencing crazy times.

Fortunately, it is happening in WI where Governor Walker has awoken a sleeping giant. Imagine if this had happened in a state with no tradition in grass roots movements! I guess that is just my Optimystic Ride going out, again!!!

In this sense, I truly believe that this is the beginning of a movement to change our vision from a "traditional" corporate one to a more unified, compassionate, global ideal with a greater sense of oneness.

Here is a letter that landed in my Inbox. I like Ms. Greenhaw's perspective so much, I asked for permission to repost:

Today, I write a letter of thanks.

Wisconsin union workers have stood up to resist Governor Walker's legislation that would eliminate bargaining rights for unionized state workers in Wisconsin.

However, a lesser known provision of the bill would put Medicaid in jeopardy. This bill would allow the governor to make changes to Medicaid with no public input.

My daughter has autism. Four years ago, through the Wisconsin Autism Waiver, my daughter began intensive in-home therapy. At the time my daughter began her program, she had lost 90% of her language, and was reduced to about 10 words that she could routinely access.

My husband and I were devastated. We had no idea what the future would hold for us, and we were unsure of whether my daughter would ever be able to answer simple "yes" or "no" questions, go to school with kids her age, or even be potty trained.

Today, my daughter is nine. She is an articulate, smart, funny girl. Thanks to Wisconsin's federal autism waiver funding, my daughter was able to access services that allowed us to get early intervention services that has made all the difference in our lives. Children that receive these services are less likely to need intensive services throughout their life, and today, the hope is that my daughter will be able to go on to lead a happy, independent life. Without Wisconsin's autism waiver, these options would have never been available to us, and undoubtedly, my daughter would have required intensive services throughout her entire life.

Wisconsin has been experiencing tremendous upheaval this week as a result of union demonstrations objecting to legislation by Governor Scott Walker that would eliminate their right to collective bargaining. Another little known impact of the legislation, however, is a provision that would allow Walker to make sweeping changes to Medicaid policy that would impact children like my daughter.

Walker has made his intentions to make deep Medicaid cuts clear. Walker appointed Dennis Smith to lead the Department of Health Services. Smith made his name writing articles encouraging states to drop out of the federal Medicaid program.

What would that mean for children with disabilities? Medicaid provides states with funding to provide coverage for certain populations, such as those with disabilities. In exchange for the funding, the states agree to provide coverage to vulnerable populations within their states.

Smith's writing urges states to forgo Medicaid funding, allowing states to eliminate programs for these vulnerable populations. Smith argues that dropping coverage for people like my daughter could save states considerable amounts of money, and urges states to leave Medicaid.

What Smith's writings fail to acknowledge, however, is the immense benefit that programs for vulnerable populations ultimately provide to states. My daughter, as the result of receiving early intervention services, will ultimately be much more independent. In fact, Harvard Business School estimates that individuals with autism who receive early intervention services are likely to cost 3.2 million dollars less over their lifetime than those without them.

The disability community has fought hard in the past for benefits for our children, but in this fight, without the immense contribution of the labor community, this legislation would have undoubtedly been already enacted.

We in the disability community have a shared interest with the labor community in defeating this sweeping, unprecedented legislation. I'm not sure how things will turn out, but without the support of labor, it is unclear that the 14 Democratic legislators would have left the state. Their absence has prevented this bill from passage and has bought some time for us to work hard to defeat this bill.

I would like to thank all of the protesters who have come out to defeat Walker's budget amendment. People with disabilities and their families have enough to worry about just trying to make it through each day, without having to worry about whether they will have Medicaid coverage.

So thank you, Wisconsin state unions!

Sincerely,
Rhonda J. Greenhaw
Germantown, Wisconsin

BLESSINGS WITHOUT BORDERS©,

Gina Villa-Grimsby

ALLOWING PIECES TO UNFOLD

2011-02-11T12:40:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we make plans. We decide to do something, to pursue an activity or course of study. As far as I have been able to discern, to date, none of us is able to operate in a vacuum. That is where the adventure comes in.

Recently, I was in yet another of these situations. On one hand, I had to make reservations by a certain date in order to assure my participation in a workshop I had planned on attending for months. Yet, there were other factors that still needed to play themselves out in order to have it all fall into place. Normally, for me, things have a strong tendency to just fall into place. I made the reservations imagining things would all fall into place in one of several possible ways.

A few days later, the ‘event’ upon which the smooth manifestation of said workshop depended took place. I began to see a crimp, a pothole, a hairpin turn. Normally, well, normally, a few years ago, I would have been madder than heck!! I clearly saw that not only what needed to happen was not going to happen in my time frame, but it looked like it might take several more months than I was told!

This time, I just sort of chuckled and shrugged, thinking, Hmmm, wonder where this adventure is going to take me? Deep within myself, I know we cannot see the bigger picture of what all the puzzle pieces of our lives mean. Each person, each stop light, each interaction, whether it be a phone call, a carefully hand written letter (what a concept, a lost art in our cyber-frenetic world), an email, or a social networking post, all carry our vibration in it, and as we weave, wind, crisscross and at times get tangled, we are influencing one another and creating an impact upon each other and the world.

In the end, I’m not going to San Diego. In the end, I’m staying right here and instead going to see The Chris Spheeris Trio in Milwaukee. There is a reason those pieces didn’t fall into place, and I’m all smiles!!

If you are anywhere in the area, his live performances surpass all of the years I spent listening to the brilliant CDs before I "accidentally" discovered he is from Milwaukee. Join me, I’d love to see you there!

BLESSINGS BEYOND BORDERS©,

Gina

Discovery Of More Pieces To The Pain And Balance Puzzle

2011-02-06T12:06:00.000-08:00

I have made so many discoveries about myself in the past 36 hrs. I’ve actually discovered a huge piece as to why I am in this wheelchair, and have been gifted with a few of the puzzle pieces which are leading to me to discover what I can do about it.

I am so intensely moved, I find it difficult to write about this. However, writing, if only for myself, has always provided clarity for me.

I have been extremely busy for the past two months designing the next step of The Optimystic Ride and the various components. I had it all planned out in my head, the vision was clear, and suddenly, an unexpected twist in the road appeared. I’m still not sure how it is going to turn out, but for the moment, being the Optimystic I am, I decided to twist with the road to discover the adventure that is going to appear around the bend. For now, I’m going to unveil my new website within days. Please stay tuned. You’ll be getting an email on it soon.

Then, I received a phone call from someone very dear with whom I had not connected for a few months. I was relaying the antics and adventures of my life in its latest chapters with the local Court, the IRS, the State Supreme Court of WI, and the Dept. of Education. He asked me how I could maintain this level of ‘fighting.’

I laughed and explain that I really have not had any major fighting. I just follow through, place a phone call, write a 2 page letter and do what any honest citizen with a sense of morals would do. He told me I was amazing. I begged to differ. I have come to understand part of my role here on Earth as one of adding some of the needed feminine energies to some very rigid, stiff, traditionally male institutions.

So, what did I discover? In talking with a new friend in India, I was explaining to her that someone I know represents, for me, the epitome of balanced masculine and feminine energies. She asked me a few questions, which pushed me to talk about my own, at times rather unfocused, creativity and to relate it to the part of me that is blocked, the feminine part of my own self expression.

I have learned to honor the External Feminine role of myself that somehow, I have come to Earth to play out.

However, it is the Inner Feminine where I definitely still need a significant dose of balance. It has become stuck, or blocked, within my body and it is manifesting as the pain I am experiencing. This discovery, in the safe arms of a new Soul Sister from India, brought waves of tears to my eyes and my Heart. It seems so clear. Why couldn’t I have figured this out before? What is so hard about it? I’m not sure. However, to me, this discovery is a significant portion of the puzzle.

The next day, I went to a yoga class with my teacher, Marty Tribble, who left town a year ago to do some teacher training and never returned until now. Her class was amazing, as usual. And, par for the course for me, I knew, before I arrived, she would serve as an amplifier for my discoveries.

Of course, the class was very focused on the inner, feminine, yoga poses. She repeatedly spoke of being still, of getting into that space within oneself, and of receiving. My body felt more like putty than usual and was actually fairly cooperative and calm. Just two days earlier, I had watched a few YouTubes of Drunvalo Melchizadek talking about living from our Heart space and how vital it is right now. I was able to totally get to that space during the class.

The next, new, added objective in my life is to take some time daily to get quiet, still and focus on my own Heart energy, which relieves the pain. Then again, I could always listen to my powerfully Heart opening music too!! It is grounding, opening, flowing and has strong balancing energies, perfect except I still need the stillness. I’ll be working on both!

BLESSINGS,

Gina

USDA to Fully Deregulate Monsanto's Genetically Engineered Alfalfa

2011-01-27T22:58:00.000-08:00

USDA to Fully Deregulate Monsanto's Genetically Engineered Alfalfa
Universal Gene Contamination of Conventional/Organic Feed,
Milk, Meat and Other Products to Follow

I am an adamant supporter of organic for my health and the health or the planet!!! Here is the latest:

USDA Secretary Tom Vilsack announced this afternoon that the agency will fully deregulate Monsanto’s controversial genetically engineered alfalfa. The choice was favored by the biotech industry and one of three options identified in the USDA’s Final Environmental Impact Statement (FEIS) released last month.

USDA could have maintained regulatory status over the perennial crop that is so important as forage for the livestock industry. Or they could have chosen a limited regulation strategy with bans on the planting of GE alfalfa seeds in seed growing regions to attempt to limit the contamination of alfalfa seed stock by foreign DNA from Monsanto’s crop (alfalfa is pollinated by bees and other insects and has a pollination radius of five miles). Instead, the agency, under heavy pressure from the biotech sector, chose total deregulation. Over 250,000 public comments were received during the FEIS process, with the vast majority opposing deregulation.

Vilsack did announce that the USDA would establish a second germ plasm/seed center for alfalfa in the state of Idaho to try and maintain GE-free strains of alfalfa. They currently operate such a facility in Prosser, WA. He said the FEIS process brought home two key points to USDA: choice and trust.

The Center for Food Safety, supported by The Cornucopia Institute and others, has been embroiled in a court case fighting the release of GE-alfalfa. Cornucopia is a formal plaintiff in the case. The legal matter has been on hold while the USDA completed its court-ordered EIS. Opponents of GE-alfalfa may soon determine their “choice” and resume the legal battle.

“We are extremely disappointed with the USDA’s decision to fully deregulate Monsanto’s GE-alfalfa. It appears that the political muscle of bio-tech sector trumped the many concerns about widespread contamination of organic and conventional alfalfa that were expressed by tens of thousands of consumers and farmers to the USDA. This action raises the likelihood of a renewed court challenge by the Center for Food Safety to GE-alfalfa, a case in which The Cornucopia Institute is a plaintiff.”

Will FANTLE
The Cornucopia Institute
P.O. Box 126
Cornucopia, WI 54827
715-839-7731
www.cornucopia.org

While to me, things don't look good, the easiest thing to do is to shut-up, and give up. Guess those roads are too boring for me!!! We all make choices, what will yours be?

BLESSINGS BEYOND BORDERS©,

Gina Villa-Grimsby

GENIUS JACKASS

2011-01-12T12:37:00.000-08:00

I’m still completely, totally reeling. I made a gigantic discovery and am really not quite sure where to go with it. You may or may not know, I have a 16 year old, supposedly genius, son. I don’t take that G- word lightly but, that is what testing shows.

A few days ago, he admitted he had been attending and participating even in his college English class the entire first semester, sixteen weeks, three times a week, through sleet, rain and even snow, he would ride his bike 10 miles to his classes, only to discover that he hadn’t turned in a single solitary stitch of work!!!!!! ??*&#Y$@%#$#%@ You know the adequate translation for that in these times in our American culture!! He didn’t start out having to ride his bike, but he seemed to be developing a habit of lying. Every time I caught him, he lost a week on rides to school. We were up to the end of Feb. What??? FOUR months of lost rides? Sometimes he catches on very slowly!

Now, being the kind of person that I am, and also knowing me as well as he does, is where the real pain comes in here. He KNOWS I absolutely do not tolerate lying!! It began when I confronted him and told him to call his Professor to inquire about it. See, the deal is this. Every time he had a big paper to write or project to do for his class, I would be on him to get it done. I blocked his Facebook, I read and re-read drafts of these 10 page English papers… I critiqued, listen to, questioned, prodded and inspired him. All that just to not turn in the work?? Stunned is an understatement.

So I told him to call the University and leave a message. He said he did. I checked his phone. Trust issues? YEAH!! Guess what?? No call. I told him to email him. Guess what no email. I told him to message him through Facebook. He made up some excuse that the Prof. unfriended him. Ya think??? You can still send him a message. I could go on and on and on. I won’t.

So what why can’t he tell the truth? What is it in him that doesn’t feel safe enough or worthy enough or unwilling to tell me the truth? This is where I get all tripped up.

I asked. The answer I got was that he thought I’d kill him. Really? Truly? Do you mean like with blood and stuff? [YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! –Ed.] He said he thought I’d get mad. Really? Would I have a reason? Would it be logical for a parent to yell? [OF COURSE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Ed.] And, would not telling the truth for several months make it better when I did find out? As my friend Lydia said, “Do you think she is stupid? You knew she’d find out!!! What were you thinking?” To which I can always hear him responding, “He wasn’t!!” It is a question we have posed about quite a few characters, quite a few times over the past years.

It got worse. I asked him to do some stuff for me over break. I keep asking how it was going. He kept telling me. I knew he was lying. Finally, I checked. GUESS!!!!!! I am just --- SIGH. I am perplexed and… At times there just are no words. I thought about it for a few days. I decided to withdraw him from the University. I spoke with the Director of Student Services. I explained to her how I felt first. I believe I said: stunned, aghast and dismayed.

I briefly told her what was up and just said I had a hard time believing someone wouldn’t have told me. I used to work there. I spent hours in the library when he was in class in Sept, Oct, and part of Nov. I was told Professors would NEVER do that and that the Professor had no idea how old he was. WRONG!!! I spoke to the Prof. at the beginning of the sem. I clearly told him his age and that he is an eloquent writer, but he doesn't like to write. She assumed the Prof. didn’t know. She didn't even bother to ask IF he knew.

I told her my intention to withdraw him. I was told he could do it on the computer. I just tried. They just changed it. It didn’t work yesterday. Well, he’ll have to sign… WHAT?? WAIT, he is a minor! He doesn’t have to sign anything. Yes, he has to sign… But a minor’s signature is not legally recognized so WHY?

In a later Facebook conversation with the Professor, he informed me that it is against the law to share grades and personal information about students with parents. It's called FERPA. I looked up this act. I am NOT a lawyer. However, the laws says, “FERPA gives parents certain rights with respect to their children's education records.” Further down it states, “Generally, schools must have written permission from the parent or eligible student in order to release any information from a student's education record.” [Emphasis mine.] I have several calls in to people connected to Dept. of ED as well as to the Dept. of Ed itself.

LOOK AT THIS! Generally, I could give the school written permission to release his records but I can’t communicate with the Professor himself??

SO, I have to sign giving him permission to enroll, agreeing to be responsible for his tuition but I can’t make the decision to withdraw him? Is this nuts or what?

NOTE: In no way am I exonerating Rodrigo for what occurred or lack thereof. I should require a 10 page essay from him per week as long as he isn’t in school. I am appalled with his lying. He needs a huge dose of maturity and a kick in the butt. My point here is that if this FERPA is being correctly interpreted, it needs to change. If very young students have a tendency to do poorly their first year in college, by the way, he attended all year last year as a part time student, wouldn’t it be wiser to get the parent, student and counselor together to discuss it and to get releases of info. signed? What a waste!!

Even more ironic to this entire scenario is that since I began this blog, Rodrigo has been my editor. At least he certainly knows what a comma splice is. Does that count, “Doctor Dude?” Seems to be my specialty!! Exactly, those Ed notes are HIS! LOL At least we are still laughing, in spite of it all.

Are you Vibrant or Dazed?

2011-01-06T13:20:00.000-08:00

This evening, on the way home from yet another road trip to Green Bay to finally pick up the organic parsley and cilantro I’ve been waiting on for over 2 weeks, I was talking with my son, Rodrigo, the 16 year old who usually concedes to coming with me.

Somehow or other the conversation got around to how people feel, whether they feel the vibrancy, intensity and aliveness of every breath and moment the way I do. I guess I just didn’t realize it before, but he laid it out very clearly, “Mom, if the world felt half as intensely as you, this would be a completely different place. I guarantee 99% of the population has absolutely no clue and are much more prone to walking around in at least a daze, if not a half stupor.” A couple minutes later, he was asleep. He had a short night last night and got up somewhat early this morning.

I was left to contemplate the irony of his words. It seems so bizarre to me, the person somehow affected by some strange unidentifiable something or other, which has to some degree impaired my sensory system, the physical system with which we feel, to be told that I’m the one who feels more than most. I don’t even like the way that sounds. Who are we to judge to what degree others feel? How can we know? Whose happiness or whose sadness is more intense?

As I drove, I noted the feelings that were coming up for me as I experienced the intense diversity of the disc in the player: parts from a Greek Orthodox song, very strong Native American rhythms in another, and another very classical Mediterranean guitar piece. As I listened, I also reviewed the places, stages and adventures of my life. Each of these pieces flooded me, and as is highly normal when listening to this artist, I could feel my Heart expanding and stretching to allow a very wide open space from which to feel that intensity.

There are times in which I wonder if a portion of my ‘normal’ physical senses needed to be turned way down in order for my Heart to open as wide as it is able to be open now. Other times I think that needing to pick between one or the other is nuts and I resign myself to seeing that as a simple “Earthly justification” for something which has none.

Either way we stir it, life has been very interesting and intensely fascinating lately. There is a state of intoxicating vibrancy to life called presence, the elixir making it all worthwhile. I’m creating, empowering and envisioning the absolute best year ever in 2011. Then again, what would you except from someone on The Optimystic Ride??

May each of you find the very best possible way to create and BE the best you that you are possibly able to be!! I have a number of surprises and long overdue goals I am currently manifesting. You'll be hearing about them soon!!

BLESSINGS BEYOND BORDERS©

Gina
PS If you like this piece, please share it with your friends.

MYSTERIOUS VS. AUTHENTIC?

2010-12-29T18:57:00.000-08:00

If you are here reading and have been reading for a while, you might already know that the whole question of dating, whether beginning on-line or not, and finding a beautiful, loving relationship is something that forms a part of my deepest Heart desire. I’ve travelled an interesting, formative, contemplative path this past year in terms of getting really clear on what I’m looking to create.

I absolutely love my son’s statement on this. “Mom, since Mr. Putz you’ve gone from muddled to clear about this dating stuff!” Out of the mouths of babes, except that he is 16 and extremely observant. In a certain sense, I can see how my learning curve has also helped him see what is desirable and what isn’t.

Even the drattin’ chick flicks that he so vehemently protests have a positive place in his life. I’ve told him time and again, “There are important aspects about women and how they think, act and feel that you could learn about from these movies.” He grumbles and sits down to watch with me. I guess Mom drives a hard bargain! Except, then when it is over, he’ll say something to the effect of “Mom, you like more sap than the entirety of the Canadian nation produces.” At least he makes me laugh!!

As you might know, I am a member of Jonathon Aslay’s private Facebook Angel Member group. On our Angel page, we have the privacy and safety of being able to discuss issues, topics and share experiences with each other as well as always counting on Jonathon to give us the man perspective. Or to gently yet lovingly kick my butt when I need it!! I chuckle, but…it is true. It is an amazingly supportive environment as well as an eye opener at times. Find out more here http://understandmennow.com/membership/ where you can also see a short clip of Angel Cynthia talk about how great this group is!

Recently an Angel mentioned that when she actually mentioned to a guy that she liked him within the first few months of dating, he more or less bolted. She deduced that it wasn’t worth saying. My "take" on this aspect goes something like this, "Would you rather be in an open, honest, REAL, and authentic relationship allowing yourself to clearly express yourself and risking figuring out a guy isn't for you or would you rather play small to who you are to be artificially SAFE, trying to be coy and mysterious???”

As you know, life doesn’t give us any guarantees. Personally, I’d much rather take the “risk” of being open, honest and 100% clear on who I am from the very get-go than withhold my Heart and Soul essence, trading present honesty for later heartbreak. My opinion is that honesty has the potential of setting the stage for later Heartfelt intimacy.

Oh, I know, I’ve been called INTENSE for about… who knows how many years now!? I remember a friend back in 10th grade who said, “Gina, the guy who gets you is going to have his hands full!!” Oh well, it is quite clear that for me, it is better to recognize, admit and own it than to try to squeeze myself into a costume that doesn’t fit!!

More than once, on his monthly tele-seminars, Jonathon has mentioned how much he really admires my ability to just put myself “out there.” I guess there might be plenty of reasons for that such as living in an extremely small town, pop. approx. 3,000, being a wheelchair user or simply understanding ?I have little to lose. The "chariot" is my biggest hurdle, even for me. Disability dating is a whole giant territory to explore. But, I used to live every single minute thinking, “When I get better I’m going to…do this, do that. I can’t wait until I’m better to…” Then one day, I woke up and realized I am HERE NOW!! I am alive now. I am fully and completely ready, willing and capable of love now!! What a better way to live and love each and every day?

On that Optimystic note, I wish each and every one of you the most abundant, Joyful, harmonious, Loving, inspired, FUN, passionate, ethical, spiritually aware and fulfilling New Year ever complete with unbridled growth and fulfillment!!

BLESSINGS BEYOND BORDERS©,

Gina

What Do Your Heart and Soul Long For??

2010-12-26T18:52:00.000-08:00

"Most of the stuff I say is true because I saw it in a dream & I don't have the presence of mind to make up lies when I'm asleep." ~Unknown

This is such significant time of the year. Whether you are Christian or not, at least in the United States and other significantly Christian countries, people have been on a seemingly endless path of scurrying and making preparations for the Christmas season. There is a lot of ritual and rigmarole around the outer aspects of this holiday: decorating Christmas trees, fixing the perfect meal, getting the gift just right for others…. And yet, being the introspective extrovert I am, I can’t help wondering if people have actually taken the time to check-in and ask themselves what it is they really want or are trying to achieve.

If you were able to, or even better, allowed yourself, to obtain, achieve or reach for something specific for this coming year, what would it be? What are your dreams? What specific dream would cause you the most fulfillment? How would it impact your life? How would it impact the lives of those around you? What type of impact might it make in the overall general welfare of the world?

Would it be something tangible, a car or a new home? Or maybe to have all of your bills paid off? Or perhaps to be able to go away on an exotic vacation? To me, with all due respect, these are very external ways of trying to achieve something much deeper. A car and a home could represent status, security or respect. Then again, to someone who is unemployed, they could represent a way to feed, house and shelter a family. Having your bills paid could mean freedom, stress reduction or security. The vacation could be a status symbol or a year in the Peace Corp. There are probably thousands of possibilities.

If I was able to achieve anything this year…. Hmmmm, there are a few things I long for with all my Heart and Soul. I see them as incredibly interrelated, although I’m convinced most people wouldn’t. What I mean is that if I were able to achieve one, the other would also undoubtedly be impacted and soon the pieces to both would fall into place.

OK, my Heart and Soul’s most significant wish would be to be able to continue The Optimystic Ride, which has become, for me, a way of life, a faith filled belief system, a vision, a dream of service and inspiration… without my chariot!!! I literally dream of that day. My dear friends know and have heard stories about myself or others dreaming that I was doing cartwheels or dancing. Earlier this year, I blogged about returning from a trip, (see June’s Airport Dream) and discovering I didn’t need my wheelchair.

HOLY....as I was writing, I figured out HOW and WHY that dream and this Heartfelt desire are totally connected!! Stay tuned for further developments but I am utterly convinced that this coming year IS the year you will see me out of this wheelchair and with an unbridled freedom of Spirit. This is going to be a year of Boundless Transformation on soooo many levels. I give gratitude that you are joining me here to share in these transformational discoveries!!

In the meantime, I’ll say that the sensation in both my hands and my feet seems to have increased incredibly. I went shoe shopping this week. Different types of sensations can, at times, depending on what it is, be completely overwhelming!! It is a very far cry from barely being able to feel my feet at all.

I take this opportunity to wish you, your families, friends, relatives, neighbors, customers, clients and social networking ‘friends’ a glorious, Joy filled, Peace filled, Loving, Happy Christmas holiday. To all my Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, Ba’hi, Shinto, Native American, Native African, Jainist, Zorastrian, Sikh and anyone else I missed, friends I wish you a glorious, Joy filled, Peace filled, Loving, Happy end of the year!!!

BLESSINGS BEYOND BORDERS©,

Gina Villa-Grimsby

BLESSINGS BEYOND BORDERS©

2010-12-21T19:51:00.000-08:00

For 51 years, I have lived in major survival mode. For all of those years, safety and struggle have been at the forefront of my life, perception of who I am, my way of thinking, responding, and even my vision of growing, stretching and expanding into someone bigger than I am.

It is high time for my own transformation to a much greater expression of Divinity, of my potential, of God. It is a time of alchemy, wizardry and magic.

These two modes are essentially incompatible which seems to me, as an Earthly being, to be our greatest challenge.

In order to achieve a greater expression of who we are, we are required to attain a point of balance between our physicality and a much higher, more Divine expression. I’m excited to admit I’m not very good at this. It gives me something to look forward to as awareness precedes manifestation. Allowing and being totally, completely, present is essential to this balance.

Presence is an amazing concept. The very essence of it defies theoretical and/or academic understanding. To be completely present is to live in a state of intensely acute awareness, a state which is certainly not the norm in our society. It is a state in which we feel our connectedness not only to our bodies and our emotions but also to the air we breathe, the food we eat, the sound we allow to enter our ears, the ‘signals’ we get from our bodies such as hunger, a tinge of sadness, a cracking neck, an itch, a deep or shallow breath, the wind,… Presence-- > connection-- > compassion-- > true caring for each other, as well as all the other realms around us, from microbial all the way to the cosmic.

Practically everything we do in a state of presence requires us to be utterly accepting of ourselves. Imagine giving yourself the level of deep unconditional love you can only dream of from a partner. Well, I can dream, maybe you are experiencing it! The level of unconditional love we have heard of in churches, synagogues, temples, mosques and other traditional places of worship is a distant dream for way too many people on this planet.

Before humanity experiences deep unconditional LOVE, it would appear that we need to start with, at the very least, experiencing unconditional peace. As I ponder these ideas during this ‘holy day’ season, (when isn’t it a holy day?) I came up with the phrase BLESSINGS BEYOND BORDERS©. Could you possibly IMAGINE what it would signify if each of us got into a habit of sending the entire cosmos, a Blessing for a few moments each day? The very thought bring me tears of Joy. This is an idea I can truly put my Heart behind!!!

As a Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking, a parent, mother, neighbor, ex-wife, friend, coach, writer, entrepreneur, cousin, woman, sister, aunt, international traveler, student of cultures and human nature and behavior, and dreamer of a better way of being, I encourage you to spread these words, in print, in thought, energetically, by cyberspace, postal service or prayer.

Six years ago "Voices in Wartime" was filmed using poetry from soldiers and civilians to help people understand the trauma of war. The film inspired VOICES [Education Project]’s nonprofit mission: story-telling in the service of peace. I encourage you to join Voices Education Project on Facebook. When we begin to spend just a few moments a day reflecting and focusing on positive, Optimystic alternatives to war, we are generating a better vibration for our world, our planet and its inhabitants.

BLESSINGS BEYOND BORDERS©,

Gina Villa-Grimsby

We Can’t See The Bigger Picture

2010-12-16T21:50:00.000-08:00

There are days and moments and sometimes situations in which I clearly see bits and pieces of lives, dreams or perhaps dashed hopes and wonder, how in the world did that happen? Or perhaps, I might even think, WHY did that happen?

Back in the early 70’s, my family started going to a church which at the time, was not even acknowledged as a church. A certain priest at a certain parish was moved to take his passion and his message to a different level, to witness and minister in a very different way for those times. I think of him now and suddenly realize he was WAY ahead of his time.

A big chunk of a certain parish followed him, as he broke away from tradition and begin saying mass at the YMCA in the meeting room. It wasn’t too long before we had to move to the gym. People began organizing and actively met every week to pick current, relevant topics from our daily lives to incorporate into the messages of service and non-judgment. They sought to embody these messages and teachings, into our daily lives.

I was in middle school when this all started in a distinctly post-Vietnam era and feeling in the United States. Of course the high school and college crowds flocked to this church filled with music by the Beatles, Neil Young, James Taylor… Various groups and activities organized: a Youth group, Liturgy planning, choir, Adult education study/support groups, Marriage groups… Some of these were held at our home, all were extremely well attended, vibrant and alive.

Some of the teachings I picked up then have remaining very strongly with me throughout the years. I remember a series of books called Serendipity used in the adult education classes. Serendipity is the idea of discovering something while looking for something completed unrelated. My life seems to constantly, and lately more intensely, contain a lot of serendipity.

Perhaps due to these teachings, at least in my initial exposure to them, I integrated them with other Spiritual thoughts and came up with the idea, that in the vast Divine Plan of life, we are not privy to the inner workings and reasons things occur the way they do. One of my favorite sayings in seemingly unexplainable moments is, “We can’t see the bigger picture!”

I could cite hundreds of examples, I won’t. Suffice it to say, the glorious design of the infinitely unfolding, blossoming and expanding web of life is utterly fascinating and delightful.

The manner in which our lives are connected and intertwined and the reasons behind these connections has a habit of generally eluding most. I just watch and marvel in awe, even more so when I sit to write about X and out comes a completely different alphabet!!

BLESSINGS,

Gina

INTERCONNECTEDNESS

2010-12-08T18:54:00.000-08:00

Have you seen the movie about Benjamin Button? Do you remember the scene in which everything from going to the bakery, catching a taxi or stopping to talk to someone… was so incredibly interconnected? While I don’t remember all of the details, I do remember thinking each and every one of our lives are connected in that somewhat haphazard, yet Sacredly Divine manner.

It was as if, for a few moments during that scene, we were given a Cosmic view, a Cosmic perspective of all of life. It most definitely brought up, for me, the 3 wheels involved in casting a Sacred Contract chart. Sacred Contracts is one of the New York Times best sellers written by Caroline Myss back in 2001. I read it when I was dispatched to a nursing home in 2001 but that is another scary, difficult, yet amazing thread in the tapestry of my life.

Sacred Contracts literally saved my sanity at a time in which I was completely unable to access the Cosmic view mentioned above. Instead, I was trapped in 3D hell, attempting to live, instead of die, a life that was totally beyond any reason I could fathom. Today, I am slowly yet determinedly, releasing my ‘need to know,’ need to have logical or even illogical reasons for some of the most unexplainable, outrageous chapters of my live.

At that time, I was trapped in a body that would not cooperate with my brain in nearly any way. There were two ways in which I had some minimal control over my life. My speech and my intestines were under “control.” The rest was as if there was a complete disconnect between what my mind ordered my body to do and what it would actually do. In fact, I was so literally spastic I could not turn pages to read. I practiced for months with crappy magazines, ripping them to shreds. When someone finally brought me a copy of Sacred Contracts, I was absolutely delighted that I was able to FINALLY turn the pages, one by one with an ease that had been totally unattainable for well over a year. To this day, the quality, thickness and feel of those pages is something that is treasured as much as all that I have learned about Archetypes in the content of the book!!

Back to interconnectedness, there are pieces, glimpses, moments and people in my life that seem to surface in one place for one apparent reason or purpose and who can years later, form part of the most interesting interconnected spider web. When I sit back, observe these occurrences, I simply marvel in admiration and awe as I watch events unfold with a grace, ease and curious humor tickling me beyond belief and even more, beyond reason.

Our Divine Selves

2010-12-02T23:19:00.000-08:00

As the Christmas season approaches, as people pour their energies into filling windows and houses full of seasonal lights, I can’t help but remember an Indie documentary, Killowatt Hours which showed how the Earth was exploited for electricity. Wonder where all the proponents of global warming are when it comes to that? I could ride both sides of the fence. Lights can be nice, however, my personal view on this is that too many lights and plastic decorations aren’t any more sacred or respectful of the holiday than no lights.

I so value really walking the walk and talking the talk. Doing A and saying B just doesn’t cut it for me. It has no honor, no alignment, no inherent value. What is the point of saying one thing and doing another? I remember years and years ago while teaching English in Spain. The director was a staunch Catholic who wasn’t paying the government the employment taxes for his staff. After all, we were all foreigners…. And the point was?? You only have to be or act Catholic in church??? Mind you, I’m not pointing fingers at just the Catholics. I’ve seen and experienced these incongruencies with many other faiths as well. Some people do the external motions very well and just don’t see how they aren’t able to apply it to their own lives.

I believe there are times where we are all simply doing the best we can. Sometimes I can come down pretty hard, especially with my kids. If I am going to be in alignment with myself, I had better make sure my standards and values with them are also consistent. I seem to be making a bit more headway with them lately. Phew!!

I look around and maybe what I see is beyond what most people see. Our outsides, our shells, our external identities is NOT who we are. The deeper, more sacred aspects of ourselves, our Soul Essence is really who we are meant to be. We have incarnated onto this great planet Earth to enjoy and discover, re-discover the core of ourselves, who we are on a much more expansive level than most of us are living.

Perhaps the real reason we are here is to dig deep, look at who we are, find that out, embody and integrate our findings into our Hearts and expand them out to the rest of the world. Before that, it really helps to learn how to “process.” It is the term many use to ‘dig and peel,’ to look and every situation, at every challenge or misunderstanding not as relating to others but rather as how it relates to ourselves.

As we do this more and more, not only do we get to the essence of ourselves, we also become so much more humble realizing our own imperfections, humanness and sacredness in the cosmic play of life. We learn to process faster and deeper. We are not afraid of ourselves, of being “wrong” or even of having to defend ourselves. We accept who we are, we love our humanness, we cherish and value the sacredness within each of us and we thank God for every moment.

Processing, to me, is how we throw off limiting beliefs and expand into our own Divine selves, where we can find Unlimited Transformation, the reflection of who we were intended to be. This is how we learn to expand, breaking free of our self-limiting beliefs.

The following is slightly modified from an interview with Krista Tippett and Irish poet and philosopher, John O'Donohue aired on NPR. Apparently John was delighted by a quote from Meister Eckhart and in explaining, said something to this effect, ‘there is a place in you where you have never been wounded, where there's still a sureness in you, where there's a seamlessness in you, and where there is a confidence and tranquility in you. And I think the intention of prayer and spirituality and love is now and again to visit that inner kind of sanctuary.’

THAT, my dear readers, summarizes the prayer and spirituality I live and breathe. I also live the aspect of love in a very quiet, internal way. In time, the external too will manifest. LOVE to all.

BLESSINGS,

Gina

Divine Waves of Love

2010-11-25T18:07:00.000-08:00

There are only a few very significant moments in my life in which I have experienced powerful, tangible, divine waves of love. Unfortunately for me, most of them have been felt on an “other than 3D plane.” I can hear some ask already, “What in the world does she mean?”

Thirteen years ago this past July, I had the wildest experience of my life. It was the wildest because, at the time, I had very little understanding about what it meant or how or why it happened, also, because it encompassed many ‘other than ordinary senses.’

I was standing in my kitchen in a gorgeous, vaulted ceiling, loft apartment north of Milwaukee, WI close to Lake Michigan. I was absent mindedly washing dishes, thinking about how much I needed the week long workshop escape I was taking that following week from two toddlers, a full time job as a Social Worker on the South side of Milwaukee, a son with Autism who, while not severe, still needed a lot of guidance. His younger brother was extremely intense and always wanted me to listen to his stories. His creativity never stopped and was exhausting!!!

They were both playing nicely for a while as I whipped through the kitchen. Even at my usual lightning speed, I was deeply contemplating the components of my life right then. I had been experiencing a long string of uncanny sychronicities over the prior year and they seemed to be intensifying in number and in amazement value. As I washed, thinking about my trip, packing in my head and lamenting the fact that because I didn’t feel comfortable enough leaving my children with their father, my then husband, I had hired someone to help him out while I was gone. Never mind, I had been with them alone in the U.S. when we moved here for nearly a year. No matter, I could/can do it. He couldn’t.

Again, washing a Pyrex pan, deep in thought, rather removed from exactly where I was, suddenly, I felt this incredible energy come up behind me, gently slip his arms around my waist and bury his face right into my hair where he began nibbling on my neck!! I was so shocked, so delighted, so flabbergasted… I could feel him behind me, holding me gently yet firmly. I could sense his energy and was filled with an intuitive knowing about his personality, character and Spirit. I could see him in my mind’s eye yet, I had NO CLUE as to who he was.

I intuitively knew two things: he was somehow connected to San Diego, CA and he was going to be in the town I was going to the following week. This experience has had a profound effect on me in too many ways and too many layers for me to begin to explain for the purpose of this piece. That was the first of many chapters of that specific energy. The 13+ year old story hasn’t ended, although it has gained a lot of momentum over the past year.

I have several more personal stories about the divine waves of love. When I experience these, they always leave a profound impact on my heart. I cherish the depth and quality of the feeling I get when they happen. I savor them, treasure them and hold them tightly in the most intimate part of my Heart and Soul, blocking out any external distractions, until I am able to engrave them in my memory for easy, quick retrieval when needed.

Just last week, I had another experience. It was only a flash but it was clear enough to give me the message, the reminder of what it is I want to create. Interestingly, I recognized the energy as being the same I felt 13 years ago. More than ever, I know it is possible to make this REAL!! I want to be able to experience this on a very tangible, 3D level. I am one of those people who never doubt that, in spite of it all, we are able and equipped to create an extraordinary life of Unlimited Potential. I’m not only attracting and envisioning it, I’m seeing it, working on opening myself to receiving it, feeling it and giving gratitude for it!!

Further chapters on this topic, Divine Waves of Love, are coming in a different format. If you are interested in hearing:
- how these have shown up for me over the years,
- how they are unfolding now,
- what they mean for you and me or
- how you can apply these powerful, life honoring messages to your life,
PLEASE send an email to EternallyOptimystic@gmail.com with DWoL or Divine Waves of Love in the subject line.

For some reason, mail sent to the address listed on my website seems to be going to The Great Wastebasket of Cyberspace. My webmaster can’t figure it out. NICE! I’ll just trust that anyone who needs to read this will and anyone who wants to hear the wild, funny, interesting, Heart expanding sequels, as well as squeals, will find out and send me an email to be included.

On this day of Thanksgiving, I am moved to give thanks for YOU!!

BLESSINGS,

Gina

New Vision

2010-11-21T19:08:00.001-08:00

How many times in our lives have we hoped for, dreamed of, yearned for or even PRAYED for something to happen or someone to appear in our lives??? I’m willing to bet there is not one person reading these words who has been 100% happy with every single aspect of how things have unfolded for them in the past or are folding in the present. I’m more than willing to include myself in this vast group.

Nevertheless, what I’m working for, moving toward and discovering minute by minute is what I’m starting to call, a “New Vision,” a new perception of life in which I am able to joyfully, with childlike wonder and innocence, sit back, observe, and with great curiosity, laugh and really marvel at how this portion of the adventure will unfold or even blossom.

As I reported in the last post, I had hopes I’d be attending a workshop on Dec. 4th. I used my new “tool” on it and released the “how”. Within 48 hours, I was stunned at the results!! I’m signed up. I began using this with relatively small things, a feeling I wanted to feel, a behavior I wanted to experience, a thought, wish, desire…
Some people who know me also know I’m not the most methodical person on the planet. Sometimes I stay up very, very late, other times I’m up at the crack of dawn. I guess it depends, to some extent, on when creativity and inspiration strike. However, I am tickled to say I’ve been using this every single day without fail. It is sooo easy, takes only a few minutes and the results in many cases are extremely rapid.

I’m also noticing that as I see this working, as I understand it better, as I feel more adept and even more worthy, I’m playing with the wording and I guess I’d say even more with the underlying feeling of what I’m creating. As I do, I increase the scope of that for which I truly yearn.

I am timidly, a bit hesitantly, stepping out there. I’m venturing a few steps at a time to see if I can allow myself to experience the expression of my true self. Underneath it all is an age old conflict of reclaiming my voice and/or releasing self-doubt and self-judgment. Now tell me, how many of us have not been in these spots too??

Either way, I'm determined to move closer and closer to my New Vision.

BLESSINGS,

Gina
PS I had to add this, "We have only to raise Imagination to the state of Vision and the thing is done." (William Blake)

New Vision

2010-11-21T19:08:00.000-08:00

The Perfect Cancellation

2010-11-17T21:06:00.000-08:00

Life is so fun sometimes!! Usually I find things just utterly curious. My latest example: I have been communicating with someone fairly intently as of late by email, chat and phone. We live a few hours apart and the space between us is fairly heavily thick forest, which has sort of complicated our first meeting. We scheduled it for yesterday in a very small town of 3,000. I had a workshop I wanted to attend there, in spite of the fact that it was 2 hour drive for me and a 1.5 hour drive for him. At the last minute, life (read children) intervened, causing him to cancel with many genuine apologies. Ah, the perils of Internet dating at this age. ; )

I went to the workshop only to delightfully discover that on this eve, it was just the facilitator and myself!! I’m working with a new, to me, technique in which you change your brain wave frequency from Beta to Theta, which is normally associated with meditation and/or creativity and has also been found to be the frequency we need to be able to reprogram our subconscious patterns.

We had the most amazing session!! With her guidance, assistance and gentle ways, I was able to uncover even more of those unconscious beliefs. Most of these are associated with my illness and body as well as the perceptions and stories I’ve created around these about myself. It simply amazes me how a “Perfect Cancellation” was truly just the Universe aligning with me to allow me to discover, uncover and heal even more of those deep layers within. I couldn’t be more delightfully surprised as to how this all works out.

I’m very excited about this new tool. I fully intend to be able to go a longer workshop coming up on Dec. 4th. I’ve already used the tool on that thought too so I’m sure it will manifest although I don’t know how. The further I get Down the Rabbit Hole, the more I’m convinced I’ll be teaching this technique. It is an amazing fit!!!!!! I need to start keeping track of the positive outcomes.

Last night, toward the end of the two hour session, my hips very spontaneously began to move in a clear, simple way that I know is associated with walking. I only know this because my Physical Therapist taught me about it a few years ago. It is extremely subtle and I believe most people do it so spontaneously they are unaware of it. I was sooooooo surprised tears sprang to my eyes.

So, Mr. Mountain Man, no offense intended, but I do firmly believe the Universe was conspiring WITH us!! The power of Unlimited Transformation is within each of us.

BLESSINGS TO ALL,

Gina

NEW Divine Playground

2010-11-12T15:17:00.000-08:00

Have you ever reached a point where, after careful review, deep introspection and self-examination, you’ve been able to identify old patterns and habits you’ve accumulated along the path of life that simply are NOT working for you? It appears I have an expert edge in this area in my own life. I’m always looking into my own programming and questioning whether or not what I believe is really, actually “true.”

This week, along the way, someone mentioned that we are experiencing a new landscape, a place where most of us traditionally and habitually do not allow ourselves to go. A place that is equivalent to a blank canvas in which we get to selectively choose what we want to create, with whom and how, with what colors, strokes, hues and techniques and with what intensity of Light. The limits of where we can go and at what speed are only subjugated to our minds.

I am in the process of creating my own new playground. I have truly never allowed myself to live in the space I am creating. Hmmm, I should say co-creating, as we are never alone. I’ve never allowed myself to be in a state of joy to the extent I can even presently envision on my playground. Interestingly enough, I am told that the state of joy, push that state even further to a state of profound bliss, exceeds the limits of my playground’s edges.

I find myself once again playfully pushing the self-imposed limits of my own creativity and venturing beyond that which even I have allowed myself to imagine. I’ve reached a New Divine Playground. It is one were you get to make up the rules as you go. Well, maybe there aren’t any rules. How freeing is that???

As of late, I’ve also been playing with a new “manifestation technique,” for lack of a better word. What I am seeing, experiencing and creating is going beyond anything else I’ve ever played with before. What I’ve discovered or attracted also goes beyond the edges of my playground!! I feel like I’ve gone from a mini 2x2 cloud to a gigantic cumulus in less time than it takes to draw a breath.

In this new divine playground, on this new geography, I hope to be able to create the space and time to explore, discover, and enjoy a new, deep sense of FREEDOM!!!! Stay tuned as I report on my creations, findings, adventures, and I expect to share the manifestation technique once I become more versed and proficient. However, I have no doubt it works. They haven’t called me 'The Manifestation Queen' for nothing.

Blessings,

Gina

My Broken Self

2010-11-07T23:39:00.000-08:00

This has been a totally crazy week. Between the mid-term elections and other lesser adventures, it seems to have buzzed on by. It has produced more situations that have really been “pushed” and more insights into myself and the world. At this very moment, I can only say, “I’m not responsible for finding your English book so you can do your assignment. It isn’t my class. It isn’t my assignment and I believe if you would have looked for it before Sunday night, it might have helped.”

My advice to other readers, don’t bail your kids out. I’ve done too much of that and what I’m seeing as a result is not very nice at the moment. The worst part is the screaming at me. HUH? Where does he get off here? I guess it is time to say, “You talk to me like that, you’ll need to get yourself to your own classes.” This involves riding a bike over 10 miles to get there. Maybe he’ll learn. Maybe he won’t. I don’t know but here, in me, I need to take this situation and say, these are my healthy boundaries. You do not cross this line or there are direct consequences.

I have learned a great deal of self respect, the hard way. There have been too many times in my life, too many situations in which I did not honor my own sense of self, sense of what I needed to do, to say or to act. Some of these have had huge consequences as I too learned, the hard way. Now, I take my lessons and see very clearly that I have so much to offer to others. I see things from a view point from which I can understand where people are coming and many times, just where they wish they could go and, I have the added value of knowing one of many ways to get there.

I don’t have all the answers but I do know quite a few of the less worn routes. I’ve travelled some of the rockiest, most desolate terrain there is on earth and from this, I’ve learned a great deal about life, about people and especially about myself.

One of the major high points of my weeks since mid-September is a class I’m taking called Designed By the Light with Debbie Ford, the Shadow Queen. Many years ago my Lakota elder, BJ, recommended 'The Dark Side of the Light Chasers' to me. I read it, loved it then and have picked it up a few times since then. Since then, I have read and followed a great deal of Debbie’s work. Little did I know years later that I would get the chance to study with her and actually interact with her through these video conference classes.

While I can highly recommend any of Debbie’s work, I’ll also say, like my dear Caroline Myss, they are not for the faint of Heart. There is something about both of them, something that to me is utterly endearing, brutally honest and forthright about how they operate. They ask people to really look inside themselves to uncover the layers of our beliefs, our patterns and our behavior. I treasure this and have no qualms about doing it with them or with anyone no matter where. I guess when I think of it, I’d call the three of us either Pushers or Excavators, probably both, depending on the moment.

During this week’s class, we were working on our karmic issues. We previously identified them, now we were ‘pushing’ them. I told the group my karmic issue has to do with needing to accept MORE of who I AM without needing to FIX everything all the time. I thought I had come pretty far to even be able to come close to the issue of wanting to fix myself all the time, haha!

Debbie thought differently. She pushed me, rather gently I’ll say, to the point that I was able to see that even the thought of wanting to accept more of myself was, in a way, fixing myself. I gasped like falling prey. She said, “What if you could just love your broken self?” Those words hit HARD!! Imagine me, the Virgo perfectionist, loving my broken self?!?! What a novel idea.

I put my picture, the one taken with Debbie, the one you see above, on the wall above my vanity. Imagine, with a piece of tape!! No frame, no matting, just two glowing broken souls loving themselves the very best they are able.

Think of all those you treasure who are in some way broken. Aren’t we all? Caroline Myss talks about her epileptic attacks, St. Teresa crawled on her belly with some paralysis for years, panic attacks, PTSD, Autism, depression, learning disabilities, Cerebral palsy, attachment disorders, Down’s syndrome, addictions, co-dependents……. The list goes on. Isn’t everyone here broken in some way?

Every night as I go to sleep, I look at that picture of Debbie and I and I treasure my broken self!! I LOVE my broken self!!! That is all I need to do, just love myself!!! Do the world a favor and love yourself too!!

BLESSINGS,

Gina

FASCINATING

2010-11-01T23:30:00.000-07:00

How many people do you get to meet who totally fascinate more senses than you knew you had?

People who tickle your brain with their tantalizing theories?

Tugging at your Heart strings, singing to your Soul?

Drinking you in through the depths of the dark richness of those eyes?

Awakening the quaking of all the senses you knew you had long ago stored,

In a cobwebbed attic,

Elevated upon an out of reach shelf.

Fascinating, inspiring, thirsting, trembling, gloriously giggling for more.

Fascinated, mysterious, inquisitive, touching, observant, totally present.

A part of me diverts, side stepping, not trusting myself to truthfully respond from my cracked open, Heart pounding fluttering in a wildly unfamiliar feminine form.

My Master Masculinity mashes her, managing to leave her mute while he masterfully maneuvers a mini-monologue to a more comfortable, well-worn, less authentic place.

Unearthed and awakening, she dreams of allowing herself to come out and play.

Written late July 2010 on a plane to San Diego.

Jonathon's Angels

2010-10-27T23:23:00.000-07:00

I belong to and associate with a couple of groups on the Internet and locally. I guess I’m rather selective as my exposure to some of the less than desirable aspects of life is not what most people see on a daily basis. In many ways, this allows me to live a somewhat more charmed life here in Northeastern Wisconsin. I’m more secluded, by choice, not deprived, as some might interpret it.

Anyway, I was on a conference call this evening with a bunch of women mostly, talking about men and dating. We belong to a group called Jonathon’s Angels which is a network of single women, mostly from Southern, California, but who can be from anywhere, which was started by Jonathon Aslay, the Relationship Confidant. Jonathon organized a group of the women he has coached and developed a private Facebook page that most of us visit daily.

It still utterly amazes me, delightfully so, that the spirit of these women is so beautiful. I feel that not only have I gained incredible wisdom and insight into myself, my beliefs about dating, men, relationship… from Jonathon, I also gained a great network of incredible sisters who are all rooting and cheering for each other.

We share hysterical stories; make up fun names for these unsuspecting men. Matchlor #1, #2, #3, or Fish Flame #10 as the case may be. We are all deeply respectful, understand that if it works GREAT, if not, “…this, or EVEN BETTER” is on its way. We take our experiences, have a blast living them first and realize how much we can learn from them.

This is having a really funny effect on my kids. One of them just told me that he needs to learn to flirt. I asked him if he wanted any pointers and he almost flew out of the room. That really cracked me up. Horror of horrors for a teen-age boy, having your MOTHER talk to you about flirting!!

But seriously, Jonathon has helped me learn even more about myself than I imagined. Besides that, I’ve learned very important, not always obvious, elements needed for successful relationship. Even more important, I’ve been able to fine tune exactly what I desire and how I’d like that to look. I find myself much clearer, in much more authenticity and alignment with myself.

Tonight after the group call I caught him for a minute. He said, “Gina, I want to tell you. I mention you to some of my other clients as one of the most Optimystic women I know. If you wanted, you could just whine, moan and complain too, but you really believe in love and you put yourself out there with no qualms.” I am humbled. I can only hope to be inspiring to many more in the very near future. Stay tuned.

Blessings,

Gina
PS You can find Jonathon at http://UnderstandMenNOW.com He always has wonderful observations, questions and discussions going on at his Facebook too.

NO GUARANTEES

2010-10-24T20:04:00.000-07:00

For at least the last 13 or so years, I have read, studied and followed as much of Caroline Myss’ work as I could inhale, absorb and assimilate. I had the extreme fortune of being able to study Entering the Castle and Sacred Contracts with the Caroline Myss Education (CMED) program in 2008 and 2009. For me, it was a dream come true. Earlier, I had vowed, if I ever had the chance, to study with her. Well, the stars aligned and I did just that!! Goes to show what we are able to manifest if we put it into our intention.

One of the aspects I hugely adore about Caroline is her ability to ask us to ask ourselves the really hard questions. One of those questions, perhaps one of the ones that made the greatest impact upon me was, “What are the ways in which your fear of humiliation has been a constant force in your life?” If each of us would reflect and take note, beginning with our childhoods, of how this fear has driven us, controlled our behavior and allowed what others think of us to influence what we believe about ourselves, we would most likely begin to see a huge pattern that has a hold on us and how we relate to the world.

This photo is a great example of what fun we can have if we lose our fear of humility. I went as a gypsy the CMED Sacred Contracts Archetypal Graduation Party. You know, color, passion, flair, creativity, a love of travel, a primal Mediterranean sense and sensuality, a love of oracles, a deep appreciation of gypsy or flamenco style music. It just fit!

Now I understand just why this question regarding fear off humility has resurfaced today. TRAILER: I’ve got a big project underway. I’m developing a self empowerment, personal-growth, transformational program based upon my life “adventures” and all of the spiritual books I’ve read, workshops I’ve attended, and tools I’ve learned over the past 20+ years. I’ve been working with my thoughts on how to do this for the past few months, and suddenly, I see while not every single, solid jigsaw puzzle piece is exactly in place, I need to have enough faith and trust in the vision given to me to simply BEGIN!!

Today, on a Caroline Myss listserv I’m on, I read this; “In a trust relationship the first thing that must be offered is risk. The greater the risk, the greater the trust.” ~ Professor Richard R. Short’s book Learning in Relationship.

God doesn’t give any guarantees. Looks like it is time for me to wiggle through some of my own discomfort once again. On to exploring more unknown territory with zero guarantees. I have heard this calling, this constant nudging and finally felt this kick in the butt, enough to stop doubting the Divine’s plan and just kick it into high gear. I had better continue fitting those pieces in place. Stay tuned.

BLESSINGS,

Gina

In Whose Image?

2010-10-20T20:22:00.000-07:00

Are we created in God’s image or did we humans create an image of God in our own image?

Think about it. If God created us as an aspect of God, logically, God would then possess all of the qualities we have. If we create an image of God, how would we be able to include qualities and characteristics that go beyond what we know and beyond what we are able to comprehend or even fathom? Picture creating an image of a concept infinitely superior than what you are able to imagine. How is that for a brain twister?? Taking it further, the whole idea above is a very intense intellectual conceptualization of this incredibly expansive idea.

Three words that always come to mind when thinking of the concept of God, the Divine, Source, or whichever word you feel most comfortable with, are omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent. Omniscient means all knowing. Can you imagine that? How could any of us come close to all knowing? There is so much to know, so many places, people, cultures, languages even right here on Earth. I have a hard enough time knowing who I am myself and remembering where I need to be for what and when. How could I possibly know it all? I can barely even wrap my head around this concept.

Now add in omnipresent. Present everywhere from here to infinity? I have a hard enough time comprehending the galaxies in our National Geographic Atlas, and they are known! Take that to the 50 millionth power extended out beyond the known cosmos until….never ending?

Add omnipotent and I’m way out of my league here.

On this day, the day in which we are asked to wear purple to support gay rights, I chuckle when people say, “God says homosexuality is wrong.” What do we REALLY know about what God “says?” I believe the version of God these people speak of is the Santa-Claus-In-The-Sky God on sale at your local pre-packaged “Don’t Think For Yourself Super Store.” I may be wrong, but I can hardly believe a God exists that doesn’t favor Love over absolutely anything else. YES, this is my own judgment. I own it and will stick by it, controversial as it may be.

BLESSINGS,

Gina Villa-Grimsby

My Space in God's Grace

2010-10-16T19:58:00.000-07:00

This has been, on one hand, the craziest, and on the other, the most inspiring week I’ve had in a very long time. Well, inspiring, hmmm, I’m generally a fairly inspired person. Crazy, one of the craziest, some of it fun crazy, other parts, JUST crazy!!

I have had several encounters this week, both personal and professional, with people who, in my humble opinion, are just not able, or not willing, to do their work. I’m convinced there are millions of them out there who are willing to just sort of muddle through life. That is their choice. It is fine by me; however, these are not the type of people I choose to have in my inner circle.

Have you ever met someone who has encouraged and inspired you to really look at your beliefs, thoughts, actions and patterns? Someone who listened to your concerns, thoughts and adventures and yet could hear what you were saying beneath the surface of your words? Someone with whom you felt intuitively in sync and connected, yet someone who was also was willing to call you to complete accountability and microscopic honesty?

These are the types of people with whom I have chosen to surround myself. My closest, most treasured friends are simply people who are unwilling to live in fear, unwilling to be out of alignment with their own highest Integrity and Highest selves and who are strong, solid, conscious and evolved enough to be able to question themselves, look within, stretch, grow and dream the big dreams.

It is not always an easy or smooth sailing journey. There are times where we trip, stumble and fall, sometimes into a huge pile of outrageous laughter.

Other times, we catch each other’s waves and go flying farther and faster than we ever imagined. At times, we marvel at how our ideas play off of each other or our stories are intertwined in the most unsuspecting ways, ways which we were completely unaware of while living them. Only when we come back together do we see how related they are.

In this world I describe, there is no room for blame, for withholding from each other, for sarcasm, for biting vengeance, for irresponsibility or anything else of that caliber. There is only room for trust, honor and love. This is where I live. Can you join me here? I’d love to have you.

It is here I run into people who need a helping hand, a soothing hug, someone to chat with on Facebook in a dire moment when there is no one else around for them.

It is in this space of God’s Grace where I am able to turn on a miraculously Divine ability to tune into what they need whether they are in North Carolina or India. In this space, I close my eyes and ask for what is needed so that I may administer and minister to them in the best possible way encouraging them to stretch themselves to live to the absolute very best life they are able!

~So Be It and So It Is!!!

Blessings,
Gina Villa-Grimsby

HOPE FOR PAIN

2010-10-08T23:37:00.001-07:00

Most people who know me are not aware of the physical pain I am in 24/7. It is something with which I've learned to live. Since I can’t really do too much about it or I haven’t yet figured out how to get rid of it, I choose not to make it the focus of my existence. There are too many other beautiful aspects of life on which to focus as you see above! Nevertheless, I am constantly aware of the “background program” that runs within me, PAIN! I’m sure there are many more of those background programs but I think it’s the one on the top of my list.

One day recently, I’m clicking along through my day when I saw a Facebook thumbnail on my friends list. I don’t know this person, even though we’ve been friends for months. Click, I went off to explore. I was amazed to discover that he is a specialist in Rapid Pain Cure. I went to his website, devouring it, got his number, and called it even though it was a Friday evening. He picked the phone, apparently in some noisy restaurant, and we set up an appointment to talk. A few days later, we were on the phone. He asked me many questions regarding my pain, because apparently he’s able to help some people and not others. I described the type of pain that I experience (nerve pain) while recalling very clearly that some parts of his website alluded to the fact that hundreds of thousands of people in the United States experience pain that is in no way related to structural abnormalities in their bodies. He suggested that I read a book that explains the procedure that hopefully he will be able to use on me, or with me. Or is it that I am going to be able to use the procedure on myself? Who knows? Anyway, I was reading the book which talks about the types of pain that people experience that may be related to repressed emotions, while even further in the background of my own programming, I was thinking, “Hmmm. This all started when I was at Sundance, a High Ceremony with the Ghosthorse Clan, a family that at that particular ceremony, was over 800 strong.”

The contrast between that family and my own lack thereof really hit me at a moment in which I have recently rekindled a connection with one of my long lost relatives. And then I wonder how it could be that I have the Abandoned Child archetype? For the past 9 years, I have had literally no positive contact or support from any of my biological family. In many senses, I say, “PHEW!!!!!!!!” Who needs that kind of toxic crazymaking behavior in their life anyway?

This past summer, I was given clear direction to get two very specific stones that were to come through: ~A very feminine location, ~A very balanced male with strong, solid family ties which were to ultimately help me with my balance, my family issues, as well as my masculine/feminine and physical balance issues.

The stones have not yet arrived, and I’m questioning whether they ever will. Either way, there are other elements of balance that the “Balanced Male” has indirectly contributed to my life which have had far-reaching effects, further than I ever imagined, which, in addition to starting yoga, have produced the most grounded sense of myself that I’ve ever known.

I’m really looking forward to finishing my pain book and evolving from where I am to God knows where! Stay tuned for more adventures on The Optimystic Ride!!

BLESSINGS,

Gina

PIECES OF PIE

2010-10-03T15:26:00.000-07:00

FYI, I’m not perfect. What’s more, I never professed to be. I got my hands dirty. My ego got the best of me. I translated my lack of physical grace and balance and my profound rejection of that part of myself into a lack of emotional grace as well, causing volcanic ash to spew.

I could simply wash my hands—not my style! I’d rather dig deeper, up to my elbows or beyond to dis-cover or un-cover my RESPONSIBILITY in the co-creation of mud pies fertile with that ash.

Avoiding shadow parts of ourselves is akin to avoiding a piece of our lives. Avoiding anger, disappointment or resentment is like avoiding certain pieces of the pie of life. If we don’t acknowledge and experience all of the pie, we only end up living half of the pie of life.

Being Optimystic does not mean being in denial to what is. It means taking issues, beliefs, circumstances and situations to a deeper level of experience. You can’t find the Optimystic side, the silver lining, if you refuse to look beyond the surface of a storm cloud. At times, getting to that lining is not the first perspective we see, or even the second, third, or fourth. At times, silver linings are beyond any reason we can fathom, which leads me to the subject of faith.

How many of us are constantly and consistently infused with unyielding faith? Back in college, I used to say, “Faith is a function of need.” Well, at this point in my life, up to my armpits in dirt from stirring up muddy waters that at first glance were calm on the surface, I say, “Believe me, I’m in need!” Faith can only be increased when it is a way of life. In spite of what we are able to see, faith shows us there is a silver lining to be treasured and cherished in each experience, with each person and in each moment of our lives.

I don’t know about anyone else, but my juiciest, most fruitful learning comes from the depths of the darkest part of my pie, which in turn, amplifies the brilliance of the rest of the pie. Do you choose to ignore the mud pies or to dig deeper?

MANY BLESSINGS,

Gina

Are You TREASURED???

2010-09-30T22:48:00.000-07:00

This is a very intimate, personal experience I’m sharing with you to show you how my own questioning of myself leads me to move forward with the process of allowing bigger and better things into my life. I’m hoping this will provide inspiration and help you do the same.

Just over a year ago, on the evening of Sept. 28th I was getting into bed with my now ex-boyfriend to whom I refer as “The Putz”. As I slid into bed, he was all curled up into a fetal position on the other side of the bed. It was one of those many days that my Soul longed to be held in someone’s safe, strong, gentle arms and truthfully, no one was there.

I was beyond asking for what I needed, to say nothing of what I wanted, as I lay there facing the opposite direction sobbing in silence. My Soul was very literally in pain and today I marvel knowing full well he hadn’t the slightest clue!!! I pulled the blankets over my head as I waited for the Joy of sleep, and escape from the reality of my life, to arrive.

My Soul cried for the pain of all the women on the planet who have in many ways betrayed themselves by being in relationship with someone who simply did not SEE them as the people they are. Even worse, it cried for the Hearts of those women who themselves cannot SEE who they are. The women who feel their value, their worth and their desirability depend in any way on the person they are with instead of depending entirely on themselves.

Suddenly, I very clearly felt someone come up behind me, throw “his” arms around me, throw “his” leg over my hip and infuse me with the safest, most comforting, most unconditional "Treasuring" energy I have ever experienced in my life. In this space which felt almost womb-like, I feel into a very deep, utterly relaxing sleep.

Needless to say, “The Putz” and I broke it off shortly afterward but that’s another thread. That Treasuring experience took me a while to fully integrate into my being but the feeling and essence of it remain deeply within me.

Have you ever so strongly and clearly desired to have that type of “Be Treasured” energy, preferably, by way of a person, in your life? I have kept the experience very strong and very real within me by referring back to it frequently. It was as a result of this experience, of keeping this energy alive, that I became, over time, laser sharp in the clarity of what I desire in a relationship with a man. I want someone who can SEE what is in me and who can Treasure me for just who I am. I don’t expect perfection, in spite of being a Virgo. I want someone REAL.

As I look deep with myself and learn to clearly define what I long for, I have also questioned whether such a person even really exists. “He” seems so out of the box. I like those artistic, maybe musical or philosophical types; maybe a driven renegade type with a strong spiritual component? Oh heck I think, I’m in Northeastern, WI. WHAT am I thinking?? I can hear my sixteen year old, Rodrigo, laughing as he says, You aren’t!! What a smart alec he is!

A few weeks ago on a Sat. morning, as I awoke, I thought to myself, what came through last night for today? I normally wake up with a very clear notion of my top priority for the day: a new idea to develop, a book I want to look at, sometimes even movies that I need to see for reasons that completely escape me unless of course Robin Williams is in them. That is what I want, the amazing love Robin Williams shows his wife in What Dreams May Come and The Fisher King. AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! Simply Glorious. But that day, as I sat up, nothing came to me. Hmm, what do I even have on for today? Oh yes, drum circle tonight at Mary’s.

I hauled my body out of bed, went to the kitchen where my raw organic cheese, raw organic coconut cream and raw organic vegetable juice complete with a tablespoon of luscious raw, organic cream awaited me. After a few minutes, I asked my son to go grab my computer to see if there was anything exciting going on there.

I scan through the tons of new mail, TUT, Alan Cohen, horoscope, 25 Facebook messages… Suddenly, I see something from one of those dating sites. I had seen a guy’s profile. He actually looked pretty interesting! Wonder if he’ll just have some lame answer? I clicked and looked.

"Hi, I just looked at your Profile also. Your very motivated , so am I. I like your smile and anything Creative. Not really using this OK Cupid thing anymore. I have been waiting for inspiration . I just need some connection but I have not found my best friend yet :). I would Love to talk with you one on one. My Ph# is 123-456-7890. Or if you have Yahoo its xyz123@ yahoo.com. I hope you can connect :)

Peace"

Since my profile is very clear and someone who is going to get to know me has to be aware of what that means, I say right out that I’m a wheelchair user. Either it scares the crap out of most or it is MY issue about myself. OK, he must be able to overlook that part I think with some reservation. I decide not to call or email right away and instead sent this:

"HI Mr. Share a Dream,

I'll admit, you caught my eye! There is one thing though that might be important to lay out on the table right away so as to avoid any potential... well, better left unsaid.

My faith is very important to me but is much more eclectic than most. I believe in a God that VASTLY surpasses the "Santa Claus in the Sky" version on sale at Wal-Mart.

In fact, I'm an ordained Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking through the Beloved Community. That might say something? Look up James Twyman?

Anyway, beyond that, if you are interested in talking, I'm definitely open to it. I'm cracking up as I'm thinking of all the "dating experts" saying, "STEER CLEAR of any heavy subjects until you get to know the person." LOL

That would be just my style, straight to the crux, no stupid games!!!

BLESSINGS,

Gina"

That was the start. Within an hour of emailing on that site he called. After about 2 hours on the phone and finding out he is a musician I asked if he wanted to come to drumming circle. We went and had a really nice time. It is fun to see someone new and how they interact with others. He was mingling, showing his flute, talking to the photographer, discreetly played his sax all the while beaming and not taking his eyes off of me! HOLY,HOLY... MAN I can barely believe it!!!!!!!! We talked about a ton of things and this seemed like it was more than I could have even imagined.

Over the next couple of weeks, we were in constant contact. We covered every subject in the book, dreams, visions, skeletons in the closets. There were a few glitches but once addressed, they disappeared. Nothing I said seemed to throw him although I still laugh remembering his comment about how fast I process. YUP, that's me!

Everything looks amazingly perfect. Still, there is a part of me that is a little bit resistive. I can’t quite put my finger on it. I wonder…. It seems too good to be true. I carefully look over my Sacred Contract wheel to see if I can find anything there. Nope.

I’m taking a class with Debbie Ford called Designed By the Light. We are talking about whether our actions and patterns are based on the shadow of our past or the Light of our future. I’m convinced on a gut level, most of my resistance is based on my past experiences.

I’ve been talking about stretching our visions and dreams to allow these to become much bigger than we ever imagined. Now it seems I’m being called to walk my talk. In a way it is exhilaratingly scary and in another, terrifyingly frightening.

Can we allow ourselves New Beginnings with more Joy, Love, Trust, Honor and Integrity than we have ever allowed ourselves to dream? Is it possible? Is it real? Can I allow myself to open my Heart further and wider than even I imagined? Can I even risk opening myself up enough to Be Treasured? I have waited so long!

BLESSINGS,

Gina

?????

2010-09-23T22:19:00.000-07:00

In my usual vein of pondering, I’ve been playing and exploring this thought, Is wanting to have a partner with whom to share your deepest thoughts, dreams and desires in some sense a manner of rejecting the very essence of who I am right now, of where I am in my life, a way of not accepting myself?

I’m not lonely. God, I have way more than my share of adventures, laughs and zany antics! That isn’t it. I don’t feel I need a partner. In spite of my present physical limitations, I feel pretty darn capable, strong and have a fierce sense of determination. ; ) That isn’t it either. So what is it???

A few years ago, talking with some friends, I said I feel like I have this support system that, at that time, extended to the corners of the planet. Incidentally, that was miniscule compared to the support I’ve felt lately, but direct physical, tangible support was very, very limited. I needed help in a very physical way to get certain things done.

It is sort of like that with Love. I can deeply love and care about people but the physical, face-to-face expression of that, can’t be replaced by Facebook, Skype, the phone, or email. What I am longing for, yearning for and desiring on a very deep level is the chance to share my very innermost musings with a person, not with cyberspace. There are so many days I feel ready to burst with insights and ideas. At times, I can barely keep up with the new ideas I get popping into my head. It doesn’t happen all the time but it happens often enough.

Then I think, well, if I don’t have a partner and I’m really paying attention to my Inner Guidance, am I trying to impose my will on God’s will? One day last summer I made an appt. with Father Bill to ask him just that, “How do we know when it is our will or what God’s will even is?” For the record, I do not limit the Divine to a single religious tradition, God, Allah, Buddha, Mohamed, Abraham, Shiva, Ganesh… It is all about the highest, strongest, force of creation there is. Father Bill had a wonderful answer. “I don’t know”, he said, “and I’d be afraid of anyone who said he did know.”

I don’t have that answer. I try to “accept” the fact I’m partner-less, UGH!! LOOK at that. Am I LESS without a partner? I think about what I desire in a partner, what our relationship would be like. My feelings are plenty strong and with my typical transparency, I post my profile on a few dating sites.

I look at who is in my area. I’m in a tiny town in rural Wisconsin surrounded by lots of farms, paper and ship building industry. Most pictures come complete with big fish, deer antlers and/or Green Bay Packer gear if not all three. Somehow, ‘bilingual, international traveler, with a Masters in Divinity and a wheelchair user’ feels like a different dimension.

I start connecting with different dating and relationship experts on Facebook. I’m reading tons, getting laser clear. My son Rodrigo says, “Mom, before ‘The Putz’ you were never this clear about all of this. Now, you are able to hit that reject buzzer in a minute!” “I know, I really should thank him for raising my standards high enough to be in alignment with who I am”, I said.

I keep looking at profiles, getting exasperated and thinking, “well, maybe it just isn’t meant to be.” Of course, through all of this, I’m keeping careful tabs on my own belief system about disability and dating. This is huge!! I just keep telling myself this is a chariot, not a wheelchair, which I realized thanks to my friend Cindy. This one really goes very deep. I could dedicate a few chapters of a book to all the issues I’ve uncovered and worked on transmuting. Body issues, worthiness, the lack of productiveness in a capitalist society…

Even just the fact that I’ve been extremely ungrounded, not quite fully IN my body for a good number of years now came up. Wait, who would really want to be in this body? I thought to myself as I drove toward Madison, WI to a friend’s who helped me with setting up a good Yoga routine. Yoga is about opening up the space inside of ourselves to receive, to create and to be in balance. As I work on my Yoga practice, I find myself calmer and more accepting of myself.

But I still wish, deeply long and ache to have someone in my life who just gets me, who treasures me, who can see what I have to offer, who has their stuff together and who is willing to grow, to explore and create a shared vision. Seems I’ve been waiting since kingdom come. Will my time ever come? Are you out there waiting? Will I need to go another year like this?

In the end, not very accepting of where I am. Maybe I should move?

BLESSINGS,

TWISTS and TURNS

2010-09-19T18:09:00.000-07:00

WOW!!! I just spent a huge chunk of time this weekend writing a very long account of the absolute crazy situation I’ve uncovered in relation to my theoretically finalized divorce.

My plan was to write is all out, post a great little trailer here on my blog and ask people to BUY the full length story via Paypal thereby enabling me to take the steps forward that I would need to take to solve this puzzle or at least begin to unravel the knots.

I was a little bit uncomfortable, uneasy with the idea. In the back of my mind I was worried that perhaps the repercussions could be even worse than what I’ve found. I decided this morning to consult with a couple of my friends who are lawyers. Although none of these friends practice in WI, I was fairly certain they knew enough about the law to at least give me their gut feeling on it.

My hopes of getting a general overall feeling on it were dashed when I contacted my dear friend on the East coast. I’ve known her for OVER 25 years!! We don’t talk often enough but, still, she knows me like the back of her hand!! If ever I could find a man who had even half that insight into me, *big giggle*, well, perhaps that is a blog for another day.

Anyway, I’ve got a mess on my hands and while, with her help, we figured out a few steps I can take toward unraveling the seeming endless knots, my original idea was deemed a big NO-NO. I guess I’m glad I took the time to check in with myself and consult. There goes my idea of collecting some money to make a dent…. DRAT!!

OK, I can’t accept donations as I’m not a non-profit. I can’t sell that story… all of the other ideas I have will take some time to develop. Stay tuned, they will be coming…

I guess the only other idea I have right at this moment is this. If you really want to support an enormous effort to put an end to a Kafka-esque chapter of my life, send me a little birthday surprise via Paypal to EternallyOptimystic@gmail.com There is an original twist!! Be sure to write Happy Birthday in the Paypal comment box so I don’t get the IRS involved. ; D

I guess I’m just going to have to store my story until this one finishes and add it to The Optimystic Ride when it is ready. *SIGH* I can't wait until I can reveal just one more stab with a letter opener at just one more big dragon!!

BLESSINGS,

Gina

A READER, A READER!!

2010-09-16T06:32:00.000-07:00

This past Fri. night, I finally saw Julie and Julia. At first, I had no interest in seeing it as someone ‘mistakenly’ ; ) told me it was about cooking. Since we don’t cook, bake, sauté, fry, parboil… at all, I thought I wasn’t interested.

Then, a friend told me it was about blogging. That totally got my attention! There were some portions of the movie during which I could totally relate to Julie. That feeling, “Hello, is there anyone out there???” cracked me up. Blogging is impersonal in that aspect. It is a modern techno-cyber dichotomy between 100% impersonal as bloggers generally have no clue as to who is reading what they write or if anyone actually IS reading it at all and the contrasting “Oh well” sort of feeling that pushes some to show parts of their intimate selves to the world.

On Sunday morning, I drove to Chicago (4 hrs. with no stops), to a press conference and brunch hosted by the Trivedi Foundation. Going anywhere, to be in the company of Mr. Trivedi, aka Guruji, and those who work for the Foundation, for me, is always a treat!! Not surprisingly, Guruji, staff and attendees are the type of vibrant, healing, beautiful people I am so drawn to in my life. I was shocked when during the press conference, Debra Poneman, MC Extraordinaire, called me up to share my Master Blessing testimonial! I wasn’t expecting that.

Following the press conference we had brunch. A friend of mine from Seminary, Cori Nielson was there. We hadn’t seen each other since we both attended a special concert James Twyman did in Chicago for his former wife Linda following her assassination years ago. His latest book, The Barn Dance, tells of an amazing mystical experience had had around Linda. I just got it, need to read it. I’ll share more about it when I read it.

As Cori and I were gabbing away, the woman across the table heard me mention this blog. She asked me for the name. When I told her, she said, “I found your testimony about Guruji on your blog. That is how we got here.” I felt like Julie, “A reader, a reader!!!” How amazingly curious is this world?

After much contemplation, I have finally come up with what I pray is a win-win solution to the dilemma of spilling my latest “adventure.” This one deals with my recently “finished” divorce which, at the moment, feels like it is never going to finish. The incredible mess I’ve uncovered is utterly unbelievable. Strangely enough, almost nothing I do seems to be run-of-the-mill. The twists and turns in this one were so unexpected that I’m just reeling at the implications. "HUH?" you say. Yes, the entire divorce decree is written, the order signed...and there is still a ton to be done.

I’ve decided that due to the legal implications surrounding this, my very best bet is to not post it on my blog. Instead, I’m going to write it out as a story and ask readers to buy it. This is my win-win solution between flat out asking for donations and not saying a word. This story is gigantic. I’m in utter shock and yet, somehow laughing about it.

Please stay tuned. I will be writing how I discovered or was lead to uncover this story, what I did about it, what I found out and what I need to do from here. I’m hoping to post it sometime this weekend. I may start putting myself more and more in ‘cave mode’, no Facebook, phone or Internet for several hours per day to make sure I get this accomplished with due diligence. Isn’t that a legal term? Makes me wonder why I didn’t go to law school in the end. Believe me, it isn’t all totally serious. There are plenty of Rodrigo one-liners in there too. I’ll post instructions here as to how to get it. Only $3.00 for some serious entertainment!! It'll all make sense soon.

BLESSINGS,
Gina

"Always Lost" Art Exhibit at UW-Marinette September 8

2010-09-13T15:26:00.001-07:00

I joke when I say, "I'm a Kennedy baby." Remember back when soldiers came back from Viet Nam back in the late 60's? I remember many, many flag covered caskets. In this
day and age, we are very removed from the consequences and effects of war.

Below you will find an incredible opportunity to contemplate the repercussions.

PRESS RELEASE

For immediate Release
Contact:
Maureen Frawley
University Relations Director
UW-Marinette
750 W. Bay Shore Street
Marinette, WI 54143
715-735-4310
Fax: 735-4304
Email: maureen.frawley@uwc.edu
http://www.marinette.uwc.edu

A sobering meditation on war will be offered by a special art exhibit at UW-Marinette in September and October.

"Always Lost" will open September 8 in the art gallery and the library on campus until October 31. UW-Marinette is the first stop on its national tour from where it originated at Western Nevada College (WNC) in Carson City, Nevada.

The show includes the faces of all of the American service members (over 5,000) who have died serving in Iraq and Afghanistan accompanied by Pulitzer Prize-winning combat photographs by Dallas Morning News photographers David Leeson and Cheryl Dias Meyer as well as prose and poetry that have been created by writing students at WNC. It will also feature photographic portraits and interviews with student veterans from WNC and UW-Marinette as well as a portrait and the poetry of SPC Noah Pierce who took his own life after returning from two combat tours in Iraq.

This one-of-a-kind exhibit was created by the collaborative efforts of WNC creative writing and sociology students who combined personal essays with photographs and a series of statistics about the Iraq conflict. The title “Always Lost” is by Gertrude Stein who said “War is never fatal but always lost. Always lost.”

WNC English Professor Marilee Swirczek and instructor Kevin Burns have lead the effort to reformat the show into a traveling exhibit and will come to the Marinette campus for a public forum on Saturday, September 18 at 7:00 pm in the Herbert L. Williams Theatre along with U.S. Army veteran Amy Smee, a WNC student who is featured in the exhibit. The parents and sister of SPC Noah Pierce also plan to attend.

“What began as a consideration of the distant effects of the Iraq War on the U.S. population has evolved into a powerful meditation on the personal effects of war on the individual. WNC students who are also Iraq War veterans took some of the photos. Rather than attempting to make a political statement about war, the exhibit was created to allow viewers to think about all aspects of war, from the families at home to the soldier in the trenches,” said English Professor Marilee Swirczek.

Of the national interest, Swirczek says, "We could not have imagined this project would touch so many people and spark interest throughout the U.S. What started as a collaborative class project became a collective experience with which people in the community and beyond not only identified, but even found closure." In addition, the Dallas Morning News has given WNC permission to utilize images of several Pulitzer Prize winning war photographs in the exhibit.

Local resident Mary Staudenmaier is credited with the idea for the traveling exhibit and is the local chairperson of the effort to bring it to Marinette. “When I was in Carson City last summer I was blown away by an exhibit the faculty and students at Western Nevada College had put together honoring the American troops who've been fighting and dying in Iraq and Afghanistan. When I found that they had no plans to take the exhibit on the road, I thought immediately of UW-Marinette as a perfect place as the first stop on an important road show. It has taken a year for them to make it suitable for travel but I believe that the time and effort was well worth it. It's not just a mysterious coincidence but rather synchronicity that brought me to be at the right time and place to view this wonderful project,” said Staudenmaier.

Since approaching UW-Marinette gallery curator Professor James LaMalfa last year with the idea, they have worked to coordinate the display. “This is the most important exhibit I will have installed in four decades,” said LaMalfa.

Approximately $10,000 is needed to be raised locally, according to Staudenmaier, to help reformat the exhibit for touring. To date, the exhibit has been funded in part by the Nevada Department of Cultural Affairs, the Nevada Arts Council, the National Endowment for the Arts and the WNC Foundation. The exhibit at UW-Marinette is co-sponsored by The Stephenson National Bank and Trust with other funding provided through the George & Virginia Cooke endowed funds for fine & performing arts administered through the UW-Marinette Foundation. To support the effort to make "Always Lost" available for Marinette and other communities, donations can be made to the UW-Marinette Foundation at 715-735-4339 or contact Staudenmaier at 715-735-5241.

After UW-Marinette, the exhibit is due to travel to UW-Fox Valley from November 11 to December; UW-Richland from mid-January through February; UW-Washington from March to Mid-April; UW-Marshfield in May; and UW-Baraboo from mid-July through August.

Admission to the exhibit is free. The gallery and library hours are open from 8 am to 10 pm. The library is also open on the weekend from 11:30 am to 4:00 pm on Saturdays and 1:00 – 5:00 pm on Sundays.

My Volcano Moment

2010-09-11T12:38:00.000-07:00

I realized today, I never posted this story here on my blog. This is sort of the place where it all began. I'll post a pic of it soon. Stay tuned!!!

Wavering on the edge of a pristine volcano, high up in the clear, thin air, deep in the jungle of Nicaragua, at 16 years old, feeling slightly lightheaded and overpowered by the enormity of the experience, I gazed below me. There I saw a sea of fiery lava crashing upon the shore in exactly the same rhythm as the waves of the ocean, pulling me into it as I tried to engrave the experience into my very being. As I did, I could feel myself losing all sense of time.

Suddenly, I remembered far back, many years earlier. I was 5 years old, perched atop 3 thick phone books between my parents at a relative’s formal dinner table. I sat wide-eyed across from a gorgeous, black-eyed Peruvian exchange student who had just landed in the U.S a scant hour earlier. She looked as scared as I was perplexed. My father was apparently speaking with her, but I couldn’t understand a word they were saying. I leaned over to my mother and whispered, “Mommy, what is Daddy saying???” “I don’t know”, she confessed. I nearly fell off the chair. I thought parents were supposed to know everything!

Later, as my mother was tucking me into bed, I said, “Tell Daddy to come up! Tell Daddy to come up!” When she finally ceded, called him and he came, I blurted, “Daddy, when I get big, can I talk funny like you?” He threw back his head and laughed. I never remember him doing that again. I insisted, “No, really, can I?” He explained that I would have to wait until I got to 7th grade to begin to learn. That was over double my lifetime away but right then I knew with all my Heart that was what I wanted. I must have been very attentive and wide eyed because he proceeded to explain that maybe I too could be a foreign exchange student if I studied hard and got good grades.

The promise, the vow, I made to myself that night at 5 years old had come to form a gigantic chunk of my life by 16. I realized this was one of those pivotal moments in life that would have an impact on me for years to come. The timelessness of “My Volcano Moment” as I began to call it later that day, coupled with the beginning development of Soul Stamina, as Caroline Myss calls it, moved something deep within me. Tiny seedlings of a new, more universal, greater potentiality than myself had been planted.

I suddenly heard the others saying “Can you imagine if this volcano were in the States? We’d have billboards and traffic signs 200 miles away, hot dog stands and guard rails not letting anyone stand as close as…Gina, move back!!” There were probably only 12 good inches between me and the edge. “I’m fine”, I said noticing the powerful feeling within myself; a pressure in my chest, my heartbeat quickening. It was as if my Soul was pulled into the depths of the sea of lava. Unexpectedly, my life took on a different feel, a new perspective. I felt microscopic in the universe and yet… “I can do ANYTHING!!” I shouted in the most booming voice I had ever heard come out of my body.

The other 5 Partners of America exchange students I was with, all from my hometown in WI, and a few of their parents all laughed in delight. It was true. If we could, at 16 years old, get on a plane, go to an extremely underdeveloped foreign country and attend an all girls school, run by nuns, wearing those uniforms we loathed, we could really probably do anything. No other event in my life till then had such a significant impact upon who I have become.

I couldn’t comprehend my discovery then, but today I can. I know it to be a creative, forceful, divine power within each of us that, when tapped, reaffirms the essence of who we are, giving us the strength to go on. This essence is our unbridled potential. It far exceeds how we define ourselves and is able to surpass any limitations we impose upon ourselves.

I found myself completely unprepared to return home from Nicaragua. You almost always hear about culture shock when you go someplace else. I had never heard any mention of the difficulties of returning home. Upon landing at the airport on New Orleans, we were herded through the obscene blue and orange Howard Johnson’s Plastic Land. I was appalled at its obnoxiousness.

Even more impossible was “returning home”, to a place that no longer existed as I left it. Turned out, the explosive top in my Mexican, (well, Aztec, really) father and German mother’s marriage had really blown off while I was away. I had been a calm, stabilizing force for so long that once I was gone, things just detonated. The second night I was home my mother announced she hadn’t filed for divorce yet just because I was coming home. “Oh thanks,” I thought, “How nice of you to wait so I could try to pick up the pieces of something that wasn’t working anyway!”

Looking forward, looking back, I decided not to even attempt to salvage that shipwreck. There were too many other aspects of my own life to focus on to even worry about them. I detached, focused on my senior year, trying to go back to fitting in with my friends. Wait, in truth, I never felt like I fit in very well anyway. Now several added factors made it more difficult. Not only had I gained about 50 lbs. on my previously 110 lb frame, my vocabulary was creating a huge rift with my friends. Learning a second language caused an English acquisition explosion. About a month after returning to school, someone screamed at me, “Can’t you just talk normal?” She meant, “Can’t you just speak normally?” I laughed, unmoved, in spite of being in the hall between classes.

The realization that by 16 years old I had accomplished my life’s dream set in very quickly. I felt acutely more aware of not fitting in. I wasn’t lonely; my incessant mind chatter, imagination and contemplative nature were always sources of entertainment. What I really longed for was strong emotional connection. I had a few friends with whom I could talk but even they were bound by societal constraints they had chosen to adopt. There was one blond, curly haired guy I rather tenuously began to connect with in my Political Theory class however, it seemed he thought I was somehow perhaps out of his brain-scope and we never spoke outside of those “safe” classroom walls. He had no plans to leave our mid-sized-town. I wanted to go experience the world. I felt stronger connections with teachers and other adults than with peers.

There was one person, Jon, my first middle school flame, a very bohemian, musically minded guy, whose inquisitive nature, heart and creative spirit came close to mine. He used to walk out to my typically suburban, mid-60’s, subdivision house in the middle of the night from where he lived in town, about 11 miles away. He also became good friends with my little brother. My brother let him in when Jon would knock on his window. After a few times, my parents gave him a key. We spent a lot of time together but in spite of the “match” we never re-established our heart link in the same way after I returned.

As I began to look forward to college, I found even more exchange programs. Mentally, I made note to make sure I went again.

While my grades, SAT scores, and Latina heritage were enough to flood me with boxes full of glossy college catalogues, family finances were not. Dad blamed mom, mom blamed dad in a family dynamic that was completely normal to me. After high school, I took a year off of school to establish financial independence for tax purposes. I ended up going to UW-Madison. Moving an hour away to a college dorm room was nothing compared to spending time in Nicaragua. Once again, I just didn’t quite fit in. Most of the kids seemed so rambunctious. They were probably freshman who had never experienced the freedom or responsibility I had. I still had fun but my objectives were quite different from most.

I started out spending most my time in the library sandwiched in books; nestled in the stacks surrounded by grad students, it was the perfect atmosphere to study. Two foreign languages and mountains of reading for my major, Political Science, occupied the bulk of my focus. Academia-land was a delightful smorgasbord, even if there were mostly freshmen in my dorm.

In early summer of my sophomore year, I was at a party after work when someone asked me if I wanted to go with them to Fort McCoy the next day. I had no idea what they meant. Cuban refugees were arriving in the U.S in tiny boats empty handed and scarcely clothed. Their first stops were abandoned military bases. The Army Reserves desperately needed translators. I went, was interviewed and hired on the spot. Whoa, that was a sudden, hairpin shift of gears. I worked about 18 hours a day, ate leftover World War II C-rations nearly all the time and slept in the barracks. That was as close as I had ever been to the military, which was way too stiff for me. I made a few friends mostly due to having to work in teams three-quarters of each day. I was there for about six weeks and I think I got off base twice! The work was exhausting, we never stopped moving but it was strangely comforting to see those terrified eyes relax once I said, “Bienvenido a Estados Unidos.”

Thankfully, by the time I got done with Fort McCoy, there were only two months before I was slated to go off to Madrid, Spain on the University Junior Year Abroad Program. I almost didn’t make it due to some bureaucratic technicality which required me to take a one credit summer class. My advisor told me she really wanted me to go as I got the highest test scores they had ever seen on the Pre-Abroad Program Spanish Test. “OK, I’ll take the class if it means I can go.”

The one credit Education Psychology class on Motivation was three excruciating weeks long. I felt like a bee in a bottle attempting to survive without any nectar. It was extremely difficult to concentrate, study or pay attention during that time. I felt like I had landed in ‘in between land’. I was in between a bizarre experience on a formerly abandoned military base, in between packing up to go to stay at my brother’s on the upper West side of New York City for a month before embarking on a yearlong stay in yet another foreign land.

What a complete disparity! I had just returned from welcoming refugees to the country I had grown up in nearly my entire life and all I could think about was getting out and moving on. That thought occurred to me many times during that 3 week class but I really never quite figured out what was behind it.

One of my very quirky, artsy, Manhattan friends, Jan, helped salvage my sanity. We made plans to drive to New York where I was going to visit my brother, an aspiring dancer who moved there at 17. I felt as if I would burst with impatience. I could see this vast, new unexplored life right in front of me, yet out of reach. I was stuck on the hands of a clock that wouldn’t move any faster. Each fast hour felt like a glacier inching along. The slow ones were like a statue. In an attempt to fill time, I worked as many hours as I could squeeze into a day at the the student union, flipping burgers and changing half barrels at the bar. It was a mind numbing job but the people were interesting and varied enough to make it fun.

There were some pretty offbeat, politically rebellious renegades who worked there and in our collective college craziness, we became a tight bunch. One night, on one of those days where I opened the grill at 7:00 AM, closed it at 10:00, and switched to closing the bar right afterwards until 1:00 AM, a few of us nabbed a 6 pack of our favorite beer, stood on the pier, picked out a nice sized sail boat, plunged into Lake Mendota, which is right behind the union and swam out to the boat to comfortably enjoy our brews.

We drank, laughed and told stories until the beer was gone. It was then that I announced I was leaving in a few weeks. My friends were shocked, yet they knew me well enough to know, I wasn’t going to be dissuaded. They immediately began planning my going away party for my last night in Madison. When it came time to swim back, I wondered how we could do that in the pitch dark? I vaguely remember being steered as I was totally off course. Craziness.

Finally, the last days were upon me. The ‘party committee’ had tended to beer and music detail while I coordinated packing, working and inviting non-students and out-of-towners to attend. A reserve Lt. from Fort McCoy turned out to be an amazing asset. He arrived a few days early, organized teams of people on this detail or that. The night of the party, I went outside to get a breath as there were over 300 people in my 2 bedroom apartment. Upon return I was filled with the strangest sensation as I saw an ocean of heads bouncing to Bowie’s Suffragette City at 3:00 AM. It was so packed the only direction one could move was up and down, yet the unity and oneness I felt had a somewhat unearthly, yet faintly peaceful, tinge even if the music could be heard for blocks.

The next morning, I found “Lt. Fort McCoy” mopping, cleaning and checking off final details on his list. I left him in charge of turning in the phone, locking up and turning in my keys as Jan and I pulled out, headed to New York. He finished it off in perfectly. I guess there are advantages to doing things military style.

A month in New York before taking off to Spain was a perfect transition from a Midwest university town to the unknown and unfathomed perils of a big city. I got oriented without delay. On my second day there, I called my brother from a phone booth. “Hey, I’m on 13th and Broadway. Is this Greenwich Village?” I asked. “How did you get there and who are you with?” he gasped, incredulous. “I walked.” “You what?” “I walked. I’m by myself. Why?” I could hear his exasperation. He lived on 76th and Broadway. All I had done was to walk down Broadway, no biggie. He was not happy. I was not known for living in fear.

Two weeks into my stay, a friend of mine from Madison, Jimbo, arrived. We had a few days of great adventures exploring, eating, and filling ourselves with the city’s incessant, overpowering, pulsating life. No words describing the intensity of the city were anywhere near actually experiencing it. The one thing I especially loved was the diversity. In any single block you could find Pakistani taxi drivers, Jewish Rabbis, Sushi, dancers, Hindus, Pan-flute sidewalk musicians, all mixed together in a cacophony of languages, attire from every continent and enough variety in food to make your taste buds dance.

Dinners, museums, shopping, friends both new and old, parties and concerts filled the month. Finally, the day to grab a cab to JFK and take off to Madrid had arrived. I got my bulging suitcase to the curb, flagged a taxi and away we went. The cab driver asked what time my flight was leaving. When I told him, he looked at me wide eyed. “You didn’t leave me much time,” he complained stepping on the gas. He began maneuvering in, out, around and through as only New York taxi drivers can. I arrived at the airport less than 45 minutes before departure time. I checked in and headed to the gate when suddenly I heard someone yell, “She’s here!!” The entire group had been waiting, placing bets too, on whether I’d show up. People started flocking me asking where I had been. My response, all too characteristic was, “Departure isn’t for another half hour.” Things just always seemed to work out for me. It was my signature style. Why worry if there really wasn’t a reason to worry?

We boarded as I contemplated just what the next 10 months would bring. I told the guy sitting next to me, “I said to my mother, ‘If Reagan gets elected, I’m staying in Spain.”’ I was feeling elated as we took off; however, I also questioned in myself why I constantly felt compelled to leave the country. Undoubtedly my politically active upbringing had an influence, but it went further. Maybe the awareness of the US’ far reaching influence, and living in a desperately poor country nurtured a grown sense of compassion, or guilt, in me? I didn’t know.

Either way, as we took off I knew that as exciting and invigorating as it was, suddenly landing in the middle of a strange land was certainly an endeavor not to be taken lightly. As I drifted off, I remembered yet again, the face of that man I used to see in my dreams as a child. I saw his deeply set, playful eyes and gorgeous warm smile and wondered if I’d met him in Spain.

BLESSINGS,
Gina

UNKNOWN TERRITORY or UNIVERSE, “DO OVER!!!!!”

2010-09-04T15:27:00.001-07:00

Have you ever experienced a time where you felt so guided, so lead, so directed, so in tune, so “ON” and then suddenly, BOOM, it vanished completely and totally?? One morning, a few weeks ago, I woke up and felt that a pact had been broken, had shifted, changed or something! Since then, I’ve been mulling it over in my mind wishing, praying, dreaming and yearning that on one certain day of my existence, I could have been ON instead of OFF!!

One of the major commitments or vows, I’ve made to myself for my life is to “live with no regrets.” Now I have one big SNAFU and rather uncharacteristically of me, I’m thinking I might not get another opportunity to straighten it out. I guess I’m really putting all my vulnerabilities out there right here and challenging myself to walk my talk, to trust myself that every single solitary aspect of our lives is in the utmost perfect Divine Order.

Instead, I really feel like crying. I’m judging myself extremely harshly for not being able to sincerely express my deepest Heart’s longing when I had a FLEETING opportunity. I really want to make it right with myself. I long to dive, dive, dive deep within and allow it to just be exactly as it was/is, to accept myself for being who am I at every single moment and to release ALL the judgment, self-criticism and above all, to stop kicking myself. Every once in a great big blue moon, even I get tongue tied!!! Imagine that! I want to accept the very vulnerable humanness of myself and right now, at this moment, it is very difficult.

So rarely do I find myself in this unknown territory of wanting to scream, “Universe, DO OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!” When in fact, almost beyond the scope of my wildest dreams, I can feel, hear, and see my friend Lisa high fiving me and saying, “This or something even better!!”

Again, I’m thrown down the ever present rabbit hole, to stretch my dreams to an even bigger, even brighter, even more fulfilling, more honoring place, full of Integrity and with a Heart that is cracked open even wider than before. Along with that, I also need to stretch my own self worthiness to fill that dream. Perhaps that is exactly what is underneath this all? Hmmmm, that truly resonates. GRRR, haven’t I gone through this before? What?? There are even more layers?

We still can’t see “the bigger picture” and we can’t know why some things go as they do. They just DO. They just happen. It is beyond our control, beyond our knowing and simply beyond reason! It is what it is what it is what it is!!!! I have some potential explanations, justifications, musings, of course, all on MY own shortcomings!!

What was that Abraham-Hicks process? Oh yes, the Virtual Reality Process. The process of creating in your mind, Heart, emotions, just exactly what your Heart desires for a full 30 seconds realizing this is EXACTLY the vibration you are sending out to the Universe. Conscious choice about how I feel… TA-DA, I shifted it!!! Well, OK, I started.

Blessings,
Gina

PS Re-reading this, I laughed. That ‘tongue tied’ business is really an excuse. I wasn’t tongue tied. I simply was not able to allow myself to respond HONESTLY as my Heart wished. It was as if I didn’t even have access to figuring it out at the time. My Heart was as open as it could have been. I just didn’t have access to a part of myself I’ve stuffed and buried over the last 50 years, my feelings. Sometimes, I have a lag time in accessing them. AH HA, now I’m really ON to something!!

I MARVEL!!

2010-09-01T13:54:00.001-07:00

I have been sharing some ideas, thoughts and glimpses of my inner musings here on this blog for months now. I’ve also been tracking the website traffic and ratings. Personally, I’ll admit, I am astonished to see these #s continue to climb on a daily basis. Someone out there is actually reading these. Apparently there is a certain level of interest in the type of deep, introspective self questioning I do and what I have to say about my own self doubt, inner conflict, creative endeavors or just FUN!

Every single time I marvel at what I see happening, (I generally marvel to my son Rodrigo), I get a similarly flavored answer from him. “Mom, seriously, you are the only one who doesn’t get it enough to be surprised by this!!” OK, he is only 15. For a number of months now, I’ve just laughed it off and thought, he is just a kid. Now, I’m starting to wonder.

I could take this in a bunch of different directions right now:
#1 – Foremost, I want to keep my ego in check;
#2 – Don’t attempt to find logical, explainable, measureable reasons for something that, in my humble opinion, doesn’t have one I can fathom. I can hear Caroline Myss clearly saying, “It is beyond reason!” Well, at least miracles and mystical happenings are beyond reason. Is this??
#3 – Why do I continually doubt myself, my self-worth, my ability to actually believe that anyone really cares about what I’m writing, or thinking or contemplating or with what I’m struggling.
#4 – Maybe my struggles are just common enough, Universal enough and human enough to generate interest?
#5 – You might be thinking, he is just trying to get something from you, except he is not that type of manipulative kid. I could go on, I won’t.

It is that beginning of the school year time and while the list of the types of things I’d like to learn about or deepen my knowledge on continually grows, I’m feeling severely constrained by Mercury in retrograde which typically causes breakdowns in standard, traditional communication systems. I’m pursuing every possible avenue I can think of to rectify these breakdowns. However, I’m not in charge of the “bigger picture.” I can never see the reasons, effects on myself or others the unfolding of this situation might produce…

As I try to organize my schedule, the classes I’m interested in and “my plans” I find myself needing to continually remember that it is all perfect, Divine and just exactly as it should be. This leads me to a place I never, ever even slightly contemplated as a possibility. I’m learning to capture a whole ‘thread’ of thoughts that are related. I could see myself developing a monthly series based on an explicit topic designed to shift both myself and others out of our comfort zones and into a more self assured, co-creative, expansive, transformative area of our lives where we really take the lead in creating exactly what we desire. We write our own stories. Are you interested in coming along for The Optimystic Ride? If so, please sign up for my mailing list/newsletter! Let’s get to work. Stay tuned.

BLESSINGS,
Gina

BEing and accepting where I AM

2010-08-23T22:08:00.000-07:00

The discoveries, excavations and blasts of insights I get about human behavior, especially regarding myself, comes from my willingness to show up and to give myself the space to learn about my vulnerabilities. And then, I even have the nerve to share them on what feels like one of the most transparent mediums I have within reach right now, my BLOG! Hang on, this one feels really big for me.

I’m 50. My second divorce, which ended in May, produced tons of issues. Basically, he left nearly 2.5 years ago after I had been terribly sick for years…..even more issues. I’ve looked very deeply into my baggage, tossed out a bunch of old stuff and lightened a lot more. After diving into the darkness, looking at my patterns, and uncovering things such as not allowing myself to be much of a little girl during my childhood, I have consciously decided that I still have enough spunk, spark, energy and love to share with a partner.

What I just heard myself doing in that last paragraph was almost try to JUSTIFY to myself my desire to be deeply, authentically, openly in relationship. Guess I need to look even more deeply at my self-worth issues. No one should have to justify the desire to express and share love.

One of the reasons I have a difficult time with this is because of this damn wheelchair!! I often laugh and joke which pushes me to say, “I’m 50, not dead!!” or “I have all my parts and they all move.” I’ve watched myself blossom incredibly during these past 6 to 8 months. I feel more in tune with myself, more authentically real and more comfortable with who I’m becoming or should I say, who I am? However, seriously, underneath it all, I feel limited by it rather than empowered because of it. There goes that ever reoccurring Victim-Victorious theme. CRAP!! I thought I had dealt with 1,000,000,000 layers of that already.

Recently, I drove 3 hours to a friend’s house for some fun and Viniyoga instruction. As I drove there by myself, which is highly unusual, I was pondering my need to “ground”, to come fully into my body. While listening to one of my favorite CDs, I was thinking how much music is more Air energy than I need, when suddenly I thought, “Wait. No wonder it is so hard for me, who would actually really want to be fully connected to this body anyway?!”

CHECK-IN: I shouldn’t think like that. I have a beautiful body that stands at 5’ 6” and weighs in at 131 lbs.

However, with the neurological pain I have in my hands and feet, coupled with difficulty walking without help, due to balance issues, I would trade in those parts and aspects with gratitude.

The next day, the very first thing my yogi friend taught me was an asana in which you move your arms a certain way, “…to connect with all that is [in my life], just as as it is, right now.”

AHA!!!!!!!! That is a huge mouthful for someone who is always trying to make everything in her life better: health, finances, relationships with kids, planning for the future, and the deep desire for a loving partner with whom to share her overflowing heart. I’m noticing a lot of resistance to the thought process that goes with the asana. I’m sure with time it’ll get easier but for now, it is the beginning of a huge lesson in just BEing where I AM and learning to IN-BODY “Just Gina.”

BLESSINGS of GRACE,

GOLDEN GLOW

2010-08-16T19:58:00.000-07:00

In the last 6+ months, I have been expanding, stretching, growing and watching my Heart and Soul throw off many of the previously confining, limiting, disempowering belief systems into which I had tried to cram my Spirit.

Like an archeologist with an onion, I dug and peeled, dug and peeled. Each time I found a wall or a belief, I would go to its base, check the foundations, dig deeper to see if they were really standing on solid ground, inspect them and question them for their own authenticity, to determine if they were “real” or of any value. If they weren’t, which covered 95% of the cases, I would see if there were any small salvageable portions which might be reshaped or remolded. If not, I would take down the whole wall.

As I took down wall after wall about myself, my self-worth, my “usefulness” in this broken body in this damn capitalist society where productivity reigns as a reflection on the value of a person, I would peel back layer after layer of false belief.

Each time I would take down another wall; whether it was about my ability as a writer, my inadequacy compared to others, the viability of ever having a Divinely inspired, healthy, mutually Treasuring relationship or ………. I would emerge with a new feeling, a new level of deeply honored knowing, I was coming home to myself.

As this occurred, people would comment, write, or tell me outright that I was glowing. Slowly, over time, I began to recognize it and feel from deep within, without needing to hear it from outside of myself. I could sense the Divinity, the God consciousness, the Soul purity we all have within ourselves just oozing out of every one of my pores.

Until we get to this level of self love, self acceptance and or recognition of our own Divinity, no one will be able see the Divine Grace or Golden Glow we can all radiate. Don’t be a candle in someone else’s sun, be your own brilliantly glowing sun!!

The Trivedi Effect

2010-08-15T22:52:00.000-07:00

As many of you may know, in June of 2001 I got the flu, which nearly took me out. Nine hospitals, 20+ MRIs, and billions of tests produced nothing. In fact, I recently attended a lecture and ran into the Dr. who gave me a terminal diagnosis over 8 years ago. He remembered me. When I asked how he could, he told me, “We always remember our most difficult cases.” I protested, saying, “But you must have had many difficult cases since then.” “Not like yours, ma'am, not like yours!” he responded emphatically. Geeez, figures, I thought to myself.

The physical results of this flu have been focused in two principle areas. One is my balance center, which is completely unrelated to inner ear. The second is a sensory type of burning pins and needles pain which started out on the entire left side of my body and my right hand and foot. Over time this pain has decreased both in intensity as well as area. The pain has receded to principally both hands and both feet.

While other areas are not in pain, I am still not able to feel them in the same ways you do. It is difficult to explain. Some areas are numbed and deadened in terms of sensation. The intensity and areas do move around and vary during the day. It is the strangest thing to try to put into words. I guess a third area would be coordination.

So I was drawn, lead, kicked, pushed or guided to The Trivedi Foundation retreat in San Diego two weekends ago. What transpired there is equally difficult to explain. It reminds me acutely of Caroline Myss’ continual use of the words, ‘beyond reason.’ The experience I had was/is so profound, I’m having a hard time even beginning to explain what happened.

Mr. Trivedi was gifted by the Divine in 1995 with an incredible transformative power. He is able to transmit enormous quantities of energy which can change plants, animals, land, seeds and/or people on a nuclear level (on the level of the nucleus). He is also utterly humble, dedicated and has a very clear vision that this gift was given to be used to better the planet.

He has worked extensively with scientists from many universities around the world who have conducted over 5,000 scientific experiments showing tangible results following his blessings, which have come to be known as the Trivedi Effect. There is ample research available on the website. http://TrivediFoundation.org

Before the retreat even began, I saw a young woman with very dark hair who took my breath away. As I gasped, she looked at me. “I’ve seen you in my dreams,” I blurted. Turns out she is Mr. Trivedi’s Marketing Manager.

Friday night Mr. Trivedi, aka Guruji, talked to us, explaining how he goes into deep trance during the blessings. He also explained how his brain is wired very differently from ‘normal’ human brains. Because of this, he is highly sensitive to noise, whispering, gum chewing…. It is good to be aware of this! *Laughs*

During the San Diego retreat, we were promised at least 5 blessings. By the end of Fri. evening we had already received 4. To begin a blessing, Guruji says, “Pray to the God of your choice. You know how to pray. You know your understanding of who your God is. Pray about what you need to be happy.” It is that simple. For a few minutes we pray, then we go into silence just absorbing the energies.

I lost count as to how many blessings we received during the retreat. Each had a very different feel to it. Sometime I felt a prickling sensation on my hands or legs, sometimes my lower back hurt. I was warned it might happen. In another blessing, I felt my right hand being released from a good portion of the pain I habitually experience. That was on Sat. after lunch.

Over the time of the retreat, my balance improved and my pain went down about 75% over what it was!! For years I have experienced a pain that varies throughout the day.

There were times we were dancing, having a blast, and I had both hands up over my head, shaking and jiving without holding on to my wheelchair. As I explained to a group that came to an introductory talk on Sun. evening, before this weekend, if I had done that, I would have fallen on my head.

Mr. Trivedi explained the number of blessings needed to totally eliminate a disease can sometimes depend on our own belief system and/or how long the condition has persisted. I am feeling differences daily and will continue to report. I already feel blessed beyond belief!!

BLESSINGS,
Gina

FIRST TRIVEDI PHONE BLESSING On 7/20/2010

2010-08-07T22:52:00.000-07:00

Ten days before I went to San Diego to the Trivedi Foundation Retreat, I had my first phone blessing. When I woke up that morning, I KNEW without single, solitary doubt I would be able to speak with Mr. Trivedi during the call. Sounds pretty presumptuous and egotistical to me, except I’m learning to totally trust.

There were 400 people on the call. Before we started, a staff person asked if there was anyone from overseas. People were yelling, “Australia, Argentina, Germany, Japan….” It was the noisiest call I’ve been on and I’ve been on a lot of them!!

After the blessing, there was a short Q & A. I kept asking if it was my turn. It wasn't. Four questions were asked and then he said, “Two more.” Again I asked. Someone else began speaking. We were told if we had a question and it was our turn it would say ‘Next’ on our phone screen. Haha, I’m in Northern WI. Our single carrier would not do this, I just knew. Last question, “Is it my turn?” “YES, go ahead.”

I said, “Have you ever met anyone who has said everything I’ve EVER done in my entire life has lead me to this?” I could literally feel him throw his head back and laugh a big belly laugh as he told a couple of stories about people who had said just that. He asked for my name. I told him I’d met him in San Diego in 10 days as I had already signed up for the retreat.

I hate to say I’ve been on Chris and Janet Atwood’s listserv for months and never opened ONE email until I got the one they sent about the Trivedi Foundation.

After the call and because I had put my yoga mat out to lie down afterward, I decided to do a couple of asanas that really stretch my psoas muscles. I get pretty sore sitting in a wheelchair all day. I have no idea what these asanas are called but I am unable to get into them by myself. I usually have my son, Rodrigo, assist me.

Miraculously, I got into the asana with absolutely NO PROBLEM. My boys heard me let out a very deep, triumphant breath and came out to see. They both stood with their mouths open asking, “What?? How?? What is going on??” I shrugged, glowing, and switched sides as they watched in disbelief. Slowly, dazed, they retreated back to their room, stunned. I could hear them mumbling. A few minutes later, they came back out to find me sitting on the couch.

“Wait! How did you get up there from the floor?” I was radiating, exuding what I’ve started to call that “Golden Glow” feeling I’ve been experiencing on and off the last several months. “On top of it, my hands feel better than they have in ages.”

WEAVINGS OF LIFE

2010-08-06T18:15:00.000-07:00

At times many seemingly unrelated tidbits in our lives, over a period of many, many years start weaving themselves together in powerfully unsuspecting ways! Here is one such magical thread weaving itself into a brilliant tapestry. Which thread to choose??

In Dec. of 1995, I had recently moved to Glendale, WI from Spain with my 2 young sons, the oldest of whom had just been diagnosed with Autism. My then husband Jose came to visit us from Spain for Christmas as he had to stay there to wrap up employment issues as well as our home.

One night as I was getting into bed, I suddenly saw a bright, tiny point of light in the corner of the room. I stopped to watch it come toward me in a circling movement. As it grew closer, I could see it was yellow. Then I noticed there were three objects. As they came even closer, they transformed into three yellow roses. As they came closer, they floated right through or “into” my head.

This was the most profound, surreal, Spiritual occurrence I had ever experienced. Several months later I went to Camp Chesterfield for a weekend retreat. It was there I was told the names of a couple of my spirit guides. Interestingly enough, one of them was Yellow Rose. For a long time, I tried to connect with her in meditation but I was never successful.

The next time Yellow Roses came into my life was in a hospital shortly after I had been given a terminal diagnosis and told I would not make it to the end of that year, 2002, right before being discharged to a nursing home. OH YIPPEE!! But that’s another thread.

A couple of days before I was scheduled to be released, I received a dozen yellow roses sent by one of the nurses, I think…? At that point, I was so horrifically ill I was unable to see any potential significance in them, although (side thread) after Dr. Doom and Gloom gave me that terminal diagnosis, I suddenly felt a very soft, very light “angel wing” on my face and was instantaneously filled with the understanding that that man was in my life to give me a diagnosis which conformed with the insurance codes needed to obtain medical coverage for my nursing home stay.

This past weekend, I attended a workshop put on by the Trivedi Foundation with Mahendra Kumar Trivedi, aka Guruji, as he is affectionately known. I was drawn, directed, pushed, steered, or literally guided to go. While Guruji was explaining to us how he was gifted by the Divine with the powers he has, he also explained that during the time he was in India, people did not respond to his desire to share his gift as he wished. Then someone suggested hanging up his business suits in favor of more traditional Indian robes to achieve that. He flashed a picture of himself on the screen in this attire, complete with a funky 80’s afro and 3 yellow roses at the foot of the picture. I was stunned on one hand and yet, somehow not surprised on the other.

During one of the breaks, I asked Debra, one of the foundation staff, about the significance of the yellow roses. She assured me it was “just decoration. He has been asked this many times.” As she walked away to attend to another issue, I chuckled, wondering where this thread would end up, if there is such a thing as an end to a thread.

Your Goals?

2010-07-28T15:34:00.000-07:00

Is there an aspect of your life you are intent on changing? Do you have a plan to get there? Have you clearly and firmly outlined the components, characteristics and how it feels to get there?

I’m working quite deeply on my Heart. A few incredible friends are constant reminders of how powerful I am. Actually, I am simply the vehicle or vessel for that powerful God-energy. I’m stretching what I yearn for into the very best, richest, deepest, most loving, fulfilling vision I create, observing my thoughts, checking with myself, expanding my worthiness, taming my self-judgment and releasing the HOW.

Every time I see a quality in another, I remind myself, unless that wonderful quality is already present within me, I would not be able observe it in someone else. I must incessantly remind myself to see others as equals rather than elevating them to a higher, out of reach, plane!

I remind myself of what I actually know vs. “the story” I may tell myself. I hear the question, “Do you know that?” often as I think, feel or make up the idea that someone else is: too busy, too important, too bored, too gorgeous, too evolved or too out of reach to want to _______ with me. Fill in the blank with your own most appropriate poison.

Poison, yes, toxic poison is what many of our thoughts contribute to our own self development and aspirations to live a more highly aware, more fully conscious life. Transmuting our poisons requires constant awareness as well as recognizing we have a big say in what we create.

Our thoughts, and most especially for me, the feeling in my Heart my visions produce are of utmost importance in moving toward my ultimate goal. I hold the feeling with utmost reverence in my Heart as I work to integrate my inner self with my outer self. It is very important to ‘keep in Heart’, achieving the goal also requires releasing exactly how it will come about and what the “container” look like. The most important factor to remember is you are going for, the feeling!! After that, know without a doubt that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BLESSINGS,
Gina

INACCESSIBLE DISABILITY HOTEL ROOM!

2010-07-26T23:02:00.001-07:00

In the 9 years I’ve been sitting in this wheelchair, I’ve travelled fairly far and wide: Las Vegas and Reno, Nevada; Salt Lake City, Utah; Aspen and Denver, Colorado; Toronto, Canada; Santa Fe, New Mexico; Pine Top, Arizona; Ashland, Oregon twice; San Francisco twice and Mount Shasta, California; Minneapolis, Minnesota; Chicago, Illinois probably 20 times; Austin, Texas; being from Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Madison, Eau Claire, Steven’s Point, Eagle River, … You get the idea. Travel is nothing new. Some of these trips were for a week or more, one was for a month! Some were up in the mountains, and once I got carried by James Twyman and many others, up a mountain on a backboard to a natural spring fed lake with a waterfall!!

When you travel, there is always a sense of adventure. Nothing is ever the same. You aren’t sure just exactly what you’ll find. For the most part, I’m pretty ‘go with the flow’ except the time they checked my wheelchair through on a 2 hour layover and I had to go to the bathroom, a different flow. That took some negotiating!!

This past weekend, my 15 year old son and I went to a concert in Milwaukee. We got a hotel instead of driving back in the middle of the night. We had a few things to do the next day; it just made sense. I booked a room at Marriot’s Residence Inn on North Port Washington Rd. specifically requesting an accessible room.

I don’t like to complain. I’d rather look for solutions first. Now I need to tell a bit about why I’m in a wheelchair. Briefly, I got the flu, and it nearly took me out. Nine hospitals, 25+ MRIs and all I got was a terminal diagnosis saying I wouldn’t make it to the end of 2002. Very funny!! I have significant balance issues, not inner ear, and a pins and needles burning sensation in my hands and my feet. While my condition is constantly improving, and I can walk with a walker, I’m not balanced enough to walk without needing someone to hold on to my gait belt. At times, I can just buckle or tip over!

On the drive down I suddenly remembered I had failed to call to ask the hotel if there was a shower bench in the room. I’ve learned from experience that a hotel will not call to address this no matter what you write in their Comment box on their reservations page. I mentioned it to my son who smiled with glee and said, “Mom, we have the little one in the back of the van.” He was so incredibly happy about it. Little did I realize just how deeply grateful I would be.

We checked in, drove around to the section where the room was. As we drove, I noticed the curbs were extremely high. I didn’t see an “apron”, the small ramp area for a wheelchair to go from the street to the sidewalk. There wasn’t any disability parking space on that side of the hotel complex either. Thank goodness my son was with me. He can get my wheelchair out and put in where I need it thus avoiding having to lower the ramp. Last thing I needed was to open the ramp onto the next vehicle. .

We were a little tight on time as we needed to get our stuff in and 2 showers in a little over an hour. My son started dashing as I directed, one of my fortes, as I can’t do the work.
“Grab this, take that. Take in the computer and turn it on. Why didn’t I Mapquest the concert earlier?” He came back to get me.
“Mom, it looks like you might have a BIG problem in the bathroom!!”
“Can I get into it?”
“That is not it.”
Then just get me in first and I’ll figure it out.
“OK”, he sighed.

At the door, he explained it was extremely difficult to get the door open as he had to use his knee and took several tries to get it open. He was using a lot of force as it finally ceded. I gasped thinking I’d never be able to do that on my own.

I got into the room, looked around and noticed the 90 degree angle I needed to maneuver to get into the bathroom. I’m not a large woman, 5’6”, probably 130 lbs. I don’t have a motorized wheelchair. I couldn’t maneuver it on my own.

I was shocked to see what their interpretation of federal ADA regulation entailed. The bathtub shower was a normal, regular, “step over the side to get in” tub. For me, that is not the issue. I have excellent range of motion. What was nuts was the fact that the only single solitary grab bar was located at the front of the tub and at too great a distance and height to reach from a sitting, wheelchair position, especially because the toilet was in the way!

I was frustrated to put it lightly!! As I was maneuvering into the tub, fully dressed, trying to balance, (even my shower bench at home has a back on it) for a brief moment, I almost gave up! I wanted to cry!! I took a deep breath, got it together, a classic “Mom move” I’m told, and decided that if I fell, at least I was already sitting down. Getting my clothes off was a major challenge on a somewhat wobbly bench. I managed to get scrubbed up, hair washed and miraculously back into the wheelchair. Since I rely heavily on my sight for balance and couldn’t close my eyes to wash my hair, I looked like a 5 day drunk when I got out but that was minor!

We got to the concert, had a wonderful time, returned and slept that night.

The next morning as we were getting packed up to go, my son got “locked out” of the room. Apparently at check out time, the key cards automatically deactivate. Since I couldn’t open the door from the inside, I heard an employee tell him he had the wrong room and the front desk was busy when I tried to call to explain that I was trapped in the room, I decided to call 911. Haha, our room # was 911. “Should have known”, comes to mind.

As the dispatcher was sending an officer, an employee from the hotel let my son in. She never bothered to apologize, ask if I was OK, explain to him what the problem was or anything.

We finished our stay in the room by taking numerous pictures of the bathroom and ripped bedskirt.

Now for the checkout. Before we checked out, when I began telling the clerk of our misadventures, said she would get the Assistant. Mr. Justin Shelby, Assistant General Manager came out. He assured me the room was both Federal and state ADA compliant. I told him it wasn’t. He offered me the telephone # to file a complaint. I assured him I didn’t need his direction to do that. I explained I would be filing complaints with the state of WI, the Feds as well as the Better Business Bureau. I did receive several “apologies” like, “I’m sorry that happened.” I told Mr. Shelby that if he was so sorry, he should do something about it! I’m not sure he will but I’m not the type to sit back and allow the next person to have to go through that insanity. HAPPY 26TH BIRTHDAY ADA!! (Americans with Disabilities Act).

I never got a receipt, and on further checking, for some unknown, unstated reason in the contract, the hotel charges a security deposit. When I asked about that, they explained that it was my bank’s policy. OH BOY!!

Residence Inn by Marriott
Milwaukee/Glendale
7275 North Port Washington Road
Glendale, WI 53217
Telephone: (414) 362-0070
Fascimile: (414) 362-3743
Justin.Shelby@ArchonHospitality.com
Marriot.com

NURTURE YOUR SOUL!!

2010-07-25T17:46:00.000-07:00

On the winding, wondrous trail of life, if you encounter something, whatever it may be, that nurtures your Soul, be sure to take note and make it a point to plunge into it as often as you possibly can. For me personally, Soul nurturing may include mystical poetry, romantic film (or the mention thereof), Heart opening music, beautiful people, engaging conversation, watching my son connect with another whose passion is music, laughter, great stories, enjoyable weather, observing someone else have fun or just BEING in the moment.

When all of these elements are combined, mixed and tossed into a single evening, you can bet the ripple my Soul feels is expanding and flowing outward, upward and over, through and into every cloud I see, the colors I observe, the plants, clouds,… Life feels more vibrant, unrestrained and more passionate. This is where my Heart resides, where my Soul experiences a more profoundly expansive resonance.

Over time, I have become much more aware of both this intensity as well as how infrequently I coincide in the time-space continuum with others who understand what this feels like, what it means or how to BE in this boundless, timeless space. On the other hand, the more my Heart learns what feeds my Soul’s playground, the richer, bigger and more fun it becomes.

Friday night I had the pleasure of attending a beautiful benefit concert by The Chris Spheeris Trio for America SCORES, an organization providing inner city kids with after school opportunities to discover and learn for themselves what it is that nurtures their souls! When Souls are Nurtured, Love is magnified. Thank you Chris, Eric and Courtney (http://ChrisSpheeris.com) and thank you to everyone involved because America SCORES!! (http://www.americascoresmke.org/ ) In a perfect world, we can all make this a better place.

Who are we to judge ourselves????

2010-07-21T20:29:00.000-07:00

Think about this. Hold yourself gently and tenderly in your own Heart. Look at the countless times you’ve wanted to do something, write a thought, idea or story, but you haven’t because you were worried about what others would think. The “others” isn’t even usually the worst part. My experience is, more often than not, we are our own worst critics.

Who are we to judge ourselves???? Imagine, in our own Divine perfection, in the vast space of infinite possibility, in unending opportunity, we can be harsh on ourselves. We create desire, anticipation, wishes, longing and yearning before we even begin. Is it any wonder we never get ourselves off the ground?

The beauty of our idea, gets caught in our self-inflicted steel-trap, sitting atop our stiffened shoulders, choked of air before the fertilization process in our Hearts even has a chance to deeply breathe in a single gasp of wonder at our creation.

Holding back, cutting ourselves off, stopping up and getting entangled in the ribbons of highways leading to nowhere are not in Integrity or alignment with the simple, pure, engaged essence of who we are. Dishonoring our power, our voice and our potential will keep us exactly where we are!

Very recently, an idea will come to me while in that timeless, formless, shapeless, infinite space. I can very quickly begin to get lost in the impossibility of it. I’ll take a few very deep breaths as I MOVE BACK into that former space and reassure my ego to get out of the way!!

I’ve developed a way to hold that space or energy in my Heart, (Go tell Jim Carrey! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIaY0l5qV0c&feature=related ) which allows me to turn everything that is self doubt, disappointment, frustration and anxiety over to Spirit.

One more breath as I move my body into time, form, shape and ACTION. Once I make the slightest MOVE in the direction of manifesting the idea, it is as good as done. On occasion I’ve even found myself asking someone else to “bless” the concept knowing full well I didn’t need the blessing!

Afterward, I sit back in utter Gahoobla1 as I watch the visible ripple effect and wonder, What if I hadn’t followed my Guidance? What if I had continued to choke Spirit coming through? What if I hadn’t allowed Divine perfection to manifest?

And you? What are you working on today? I’d love to know.

BLESSINGS,
Gina Villa-Grimsby
1 My son Rodrigo’s hippie word for pure, Divine amazement.

HEART OPENING OPPORTUNITY

2010-07-17T20:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Andrew Harvey was going to present his latest book, Heart Yoga at YogAsylum in Brookfield, WI. For some reason it was cancelled. I can’t help but think there are many people in the area who still want a golden opportunity to get a powerful Heart opening blast!! Here is a story about my own Heart Opening.

Ten years ago I attended a workshop called “Living in the Heart” given by Drunvalo Melchizadek in Chicago. Drunvalo had been contacted by the Kogi tribe from the mountains of Colombia who gave him 9 specific steps needed to achieve the state of consciousness necessary to communicate with each other directly through the Heart. This was the first time Drunvalo was teaching this.

Over 400 people were packed into a Holiday Inn banquet room to learn this. We had already gone through about 7 of the steps. The 8th step required us to dance completely blindfolded, in a totally dark room. Imagine, there were chairs, zafus, journals, shoes, and people’s bags all over the room. I never even considered the possibility of tripping over anything.

We were all poised and ready. When Drunvalo turned on the music, I was instantaneously transported TO the stars; not under the stars but into them!! What I experienced at that moment goes beyond what words can capture. Interestingly, I have never written about it until right now, this weekend of Conscious Convergence and the wave of Unity Consciousness. Quite fitting!! The music was a primal mixture of ancient Mediterranean melodies, sensuous guitarwork, compelling soundscapes, and originality unmatched by any other.

As soon as the music stopped, we all sat down. Dru asked if anyone wanted to share what they had experienced. I was first. Before I even began to share, I asked, “WHO was that?” He said, “Chris Spheeris, Eros.” I made sure I got the spelling of the name and disc right!!

For 10 years I have listened to his music. In my humble opinion, it is the most Heart Opening music on the planet. Chris is an incredibly talented, Emmy award winning composer, songwriter and performer whose music has been used in TV shows, documentary films, Olympic competitions, commercials, NPR radio, satellite and syndicated programs, and of course, in the music systems of millions around the world. He is a prolific writer, highly conscious with a mystical bent and an extremely humble man. He has a variety of music and other inspirational writing on his website. http://chrisspheeris.com

This Friday, July 23rd The Chris Spheeris Trio – Chris on guitar, keyboards and vocals, Courtney Yeats on cello and vocals and Eric Zang on percussion and vocals - will perform a benefit for America SCORES in Thiensville, WI at 6:30 PM, just north of Milwaukee.

America SCORES inspires inner city youth to lead healthy lifestyles, be engaged students, and become agents of change in their communities. Tickets are tax deductable and going fast. For more information &/or tickets go to http://chrisspheeris.com/performances or call Nicki Usinger at 414 550 8148

For my LA friends and animal lovers, he’ll be doing a Special Gala Dinner and Concert Benefitting the Santa Ynez Valley Humane Society n Saturday, July 31st - 5:30pm. Information also at the link above.

COME OUT. JOIN THE FUN. GREAT CAUSES. COME SHARE THE LOVE.

Moving Dream

2010-07-14T22:33:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago I dreamt I was moving. I had actually packed everything all up, closed up the back of the truck and was jumping in to the driver’s seat of a U-Haul just outside our garage. At 10:00AM the heat was already causing my golden cami to stick to me. The bright, intense sun beat upon me as my thick, long, brown pony tail swung behind, trying to keep up. My two boys were already as comfortably settled as they could get while playfully arguing. Stinky said Mutt had too many books up front as he put his feet on the dash and Mutt said, “I’ll probably get through all these before we leave the state.” I rolled my eyes and said, “Here we GO!!”

One of the amazing parts me about these dreams is my agility, strength and spunk!! Another is that there are no wheelchairs, no adaptive driving equipment, no pain in my hands or feet. My waking self isn’t exactly sure where we were going but my dreaming self was very clear! It wasn’t across town or even across the state. We were headed somewhere completely different.

For a few years now, I have thought once my divorce to Mr. Grimsby was finally finished, we would move. Funny, after over two months since the final hearing, I finally received the final divorce decree in the mail today!! The court record indicates the divorce took over 4 years. No house, no kids and nothing but hold ups, but now, it is done!

Well Universe, what is next?

Tapping Into Cosmic Divine Power

2010-07-11T09:53:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been drawn, literally pulled, to specific energies, books, audios talks, music or even places with such a continuous force day after day that you realize you are completely in alignment with a Higher Power?? For the last several weeks, no matter which way I turn, no matter what I do or when, I can not escape the feeling I am being undeniably guided toward my own Highest Potential.

I hear you saying you want examples. Haha I have been drawn to the Upanishads for 6 or 7 years now. This past winter I bought a copy but hadn’t got to seriously reading it yet.

Recently, I told a friend, I feel called to contact Drunvalo Melchizadek again. She nodded knowingly. I made a note to find his books. Serpent of Light was the first one I found on my bookshelf. Toward the end of the book, Drunvalo wrote, “…almost nothing new was written on Dreaming from the heart or Sacred Space of the Heart, except the Upanishads from ancient India …”

A few weeks ago I was in Madison. I crossed paths with a gorgeous, young woman named Anika. I gave her one of The Optimystic Ride bookmarks made for the Next Top Author competition. She took it, came back a minute later, stood right in front of me said, “Not only am I going to vote for you, I’m going to forward it to all my friends…” It was a strange, yet delightful, feeling. Something deep within me knew what she said before she spoke. Once we connected on Facebook, I found out she is in San Diego.

My connection, attraction or calling to San Diego goes back to about the summer of 1997, I think. I had a clairsentient, clairvoyant and claircognitive experience (when I get these, they transcend modalities) with an energy I “knew” was somehow connected to San Diego. This was just days before my first trip to Sedona. I actually physically saw the man in that experience while there but he was sooo shocked to see me, he fled! Now there is a pattern!! SIGH! I’ll be making my first trip to San Diego later this month. Look up Trivedi Foundation for more info!

I’m not sure these brief descriptions come close to capturing the essence of what I’m experiencing but I know there are others tapping into this great Cosmic healing, creative energy too. Stay tuned in!!

WITH LOVE & BLESSINGS,
Gina

RIDE ON WITH FAITH, TRUST & RELEASE THE HOW!

2010-07-06T13:14:00.001-07:00

RIDE ON WITH FAITH, TRUST & RELEASE THE HOW!!

Today, Next Top Author announced the 25 authors who moved to Round 3 of the competition! While The Optimystic Ride was not among them, I want to share my thoughts.

First, as my son Rodrigo says, "Mom, just more [material] for the book!" I am definitely not giving up. Giving up at the first small challenge is simply too easy. I can't help bring to mind Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen's Chicken Soup series which was rejected 144 times! Even Neale Donald Walsch's Conversations with God was rejected by Hampton Roads Publishing. Different venues, other forms and new ideas are coming forth. I am known as tenacious by more than one person!!

Second, the underlying message on this book is one of Faith, Trust and releasing the how. We need to get out of our own way to do that. I am going to stand back, regroup and Ride ON!!

CONGRATULATIONS to those who advanced. We know you have put a ton of energy into this. May each of you be blessed.

FINALLY, to my dear friends and supporters, I give you my humble, eternal gratitude! Special thanks goes to my number 1 supporter, Rodrigo!!

BLESSINGS,
Gina

COMING TOGETHER?

2010-07-03T17:26:00.000-07:00

How many of us have gone through or are going through a period of synchronicities so strong, clear and powerful it feels surreal? Aspects of my life feel nebulous, not yet real, in spite of what my Soul desires. When I begin to question or look for signs, I get them from every angle possible. Is the Universe conspiring with me to create something that is really not yet tangible? I wonder on one hand and don't doubt it for a second on the other.

I am reminded; the energy of creation comes from the Heart. How fitting! Lately I listen to the most heart opening music on the planet. Is the specific vibration for this is different for each person? I asked a few friends to listen. They completely agreed. Guess those results aren’t statistically significant.

These synchronicities are everywhere, in songs, emails, audio lectures, books, cards I have picked, comments I overhear in the grocery store, parking lots… Is God telling me something more clearly than 3D reality? I’ve briefly felt the connection to the energy of Universal Consciousness, now I want to live it deeply!!

For now, I bathe in the comic constellations surrounding me as disconnecting from them is unthinkable. I am called to Trust beyond any other degree of Trust I've ever dreamed! I'm in the flow and wondering how far down this rabbit hole goes.

BLESSINGS,
Gina

SHINE ON!!

2010-06-27T13:22:00.000-07:00

SHINE ON!!

Yesterday at Summerfest my son Rodrigo was drumming with an African group. There were extra drums available so the public could drum too. I saw a woman off to one side sort of trying to hide even though I could clearly see she was a gifted drummer. I encouraged her to play but she was too embarrassed and concerned about what others would think.

How many times have we all chosen to hide our God-given gifts and talents instead of allowing ourselves to shine, instead of using these gifts to serve the world and others? How many times are we more worried about ourselves?

James Twyman is one of a few mentors I've had that has taught me to get out of my own way, to realize that my talents and my abilities were given to me not just for me, but to serve others in any way I am able. It isn't always easy to do this or to remember but I can say, "It is not about me!" The Optimystic Ride and the Next Top author competition are providing me with ample opportunities to squelch my inner critic, my own doubt and continue Riding on.

To read about more my experiences and learn how to get out of your own way,go to http://NextTopAuthor.com/?aid=91. Cast your vote of support which will help me get published and help me help others learn to SHINE ON!!

Blessings,
Gina Villa-Grimsby
PS You may read chapter 1 at the link above. If you get inspired, please forward it! Voting ends Monday night at 11:59 PM. THANK YOU!!

THE WAVE

2010-06-27T13:08:00.001-07:00

As I went to pick up another Fedex printing of The Optimystic Ride promo bookmarks, feeling a little disappointed I couldn't connect with Steve Harrison's conference call on corporate promotion, I got a "hit".

I asked the Fedex quality control employee if she could forward my Next Top Author voting link http://NextTopAuthor.com/?aid=91 to all the other Fedex stores. Her jaw dropped as she smiled and said, "Sure! I can do that!" YIPPEE!!!

As I work, I am constantly astounded by how the effects of what we do, think, say, believe, and even dream can have an enormous ripple effect beyond what we initially set out to do.

Later that night, from the 28th floor rooftop of a lakefront apartment building, we watched some spectacular fireworks surrounded by extremely loving and generous friends. I don't take for granted what I have, and I'm Optimistically Riding on to a bigger place than I ever thought possible.

If you've already voted for The Optimystic Ride, I want to express my sincere and humble gratitude. If not, you still have until this Monday at 11:59 PM.

Blessings,

WHO RULES?

2010-06-27T13:03:00.000-07:00

Who Rules?
Shadow & Saboteur or
Optimystic Endless Possibilities?

In the final days of the Next Top Author competition, I find myself uniting Debbie Ford's renowned Shadow work with Caroline Myss' Saboteur archetype from her book Sacred Contracts, pushing me to closely examine my life, actions and beliefs, while keeping myself from sabotaging my own efforts or selling myself short. I'm sprinting to expand my dreams, hold on to my visions and inspirations beyond the "limits" of what I had previously imagined to be possible.

Do you ever work against yourself? Do you ever believe you are not capable? Do your thoughts or beliefs or ever tell you you aren't worthy? Do you ever look at your "stuff" and think, "Oh boy, I've accumulated a ton of baggage!"?

In order to seriously examine these types of issues and many others, to help get The Optimystic Ride published and to help me reach out to help others grow Optimystically, please, go to http://NextTopAuthor.com/?aid=91. I'd be humbly honored by your support.

BLESSINGS,
Gina Villa-Grimsby
PS Voting ends Mon. June 28th at 11:59 PM If you are inspired, Ride it forward!

STRETCHING TO RIDE BIGGER & EVEN MORE OPTIMYSTICALLY!!

2010-06-27T12:53:00.000-07:00

STRETCHING TO RIDE BIGGER & EVEN MORE OPTIMYSTICALLY!!

How much better can life get? Lately, my work is to stretch myself to dream bigger, better and deeper than I've ever allowed myself to dream. At times it isn't easy. There can be a lot of brain chatter telling me X, Y and Z. I'm convinced I am not alone.

The Next Top Author competition is giving me the chance to see myself and the rest of the world in the absolute biggest, best possible light I can, allowing me to deeply examine the mountain of conditioned beliefs I hold about myself as I toss out one after another.

I am positive I'm not alone when I judge myself. We could probably all work on Optimystically accepting the reality of who we are, creatures of Divine creation yet entirely imperfect humans. Self love is not our strong point YET!!

If you would like to read more thoughts like these, I'd be honored if you'd vote for me at http://NextTopAuthor.com/?aid=91 Then I can get published by Neale Donald Walsch's publisher, Hampton Roads Publishing.

BLESSINGS,
Gina

THE SNOT BADGE

2010-06-17T16:49:00.000-07:00

MY BADGE

I recently had a coaching session client who said she wanted to work on X issues. I asked her to write down her issues in the day or two beforehand. It helps people get clearer on what they believe the issues are. As we began going through them and I listened to her story, I quickly realized what those issues, in layers deeply buried underneath, really were. I asked her if she thought her issues of perfectionism, fear of making mistakes… might really be about something deeper like the need to be acknowledged, affirmed, valued and honored. At times it feels like I hear with different ears.

Within seconds, she let loose a dam of tears. I held her energetically as I verbally gave her the support she needed. As she was pulling herself back together, she said, “You must get a lot of snot on your shoulder!” I giggled with laughter. I told her I wear snot with honor if I am able to break through some of these old, crusty, self-limiting patterns we carry around.

Our session continued as we dug deeper, identified more patterns and excuses (we all have them), and devised a simply, effective, concrete strategy to expand her spirit more into the essence of who she really is.

In the days that followed, I chuckled repeatedly at the Snot Badge!!

ARCHETYPAL CLARITY!!

2010-06-14T16:52:00.000-07:00

There are occasions where something is right before my eyes and I don’t see it! As of late, I’ve been looking at certain factors in my life and wondering about them. Just as an example, my son told me that I have fifty-two countries represented on my Facebook page. (I also have others following my friends and chasing after them but, whatever.) Fifty-two countries? How did that happen? I am in awe. The connections we are making are simply incredible.

Then I started looking at where I am living at the moment, Peshtigo, Wisconsin, a tiny little town pop. 3,000 some in Northeastern WI. While I know exactly how I got here at this point in my life, there are also moments when I ask myself, "How in the world did I land here?" There are times when I go into self-doubt thinking, "How can I ever…?" but those are extremely short lived as I once again realize, this whole entire escapade is waaaaaaay bigger than me anyway. There is a life force, a chi to this Optimystic Ride that has nothing at all to do with me.

Today, I was looking at a book shelf when suddenly I saw Firestorm at Peshtigo: A Town, Its People, and the Deadliest Fire in American History by Denise Gess and William Lutz. The book recounts how on October 8, 1871 which is the same night as the Great Chicago Fire, a 5-mile-wide wall of flames coupled with hurricane winds reaching 100 miles per hour winds devastated over 2,400 squares miles in the small lumber town of Peshtigo killing over 2,000 people.

Suddenly, the significance of living in a place that had been razed to ashes far beyond recognition and fully reconstructed gained an archetypal significance that I had never noticed. How interesting that I too was in a situation in which nearly everything and everyone important in my life had been unexpectedly “razed” which included my physical body and family of origin (1st chakra); my home and marriage (2nd chakra); my understanding of Truth and self-betrayal, which had become unbearably evident (3rd chakra); coping with these profound discoveries on a Heart level (4th chakra); my incessant self-questioning and mini ‘Dark Night of the Soul' a term that is way too over-used in my opinion (5th chakra); the way in which I had unconsciously slipped into sabotaging my healthy sense of self worth as well as my own healthy boundaries (6th and 7th chakras); and finally returning to my cherished internal personal integrity (8th chakra).

It makes total sense to me now that I am avidly reconstructing my life, on more levels than even I know, right here in this historic little village! I have quite metaphorically and archetypally positioned myself in Perfect Peshtigo to go from the ashes to the Phoenix by way of the Alchemist archetype, and rising from these ashes I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even more interesting, in my eyes, is the fact that, in spite of the fact that the surrounding two towns are both about 4 times bigger, Peshtigo has a reputation for having an amazingly rigorous public school district that has surpassed my greatest expectations. Here we go again with the stretching and expanding theme as I find myself having to stretch my dreams out bigger and wider as the weeks pass in order to keep my dreams and wishes in the most expansive mode I am able. Two ideas come to mind, 'down the rabbit hole' and 'let that fire ROOOAAAARRRR,' burning away that which no longer serves us.

BLESSINGS!!

AIRPORT DREAM

2010-06-10T22:23:00.000-07:00

Early this morning I was dreaming that I missed a plane. It was one of those very “real” dreams that I’ve come to understand as a lucid dream. I was already in the airport with all of my bags, all ready to go on a trip, but I was not at the right terminal. I was trying to inform some airline personnel that I was trying to get to the gate. Actually, I was wheeling along in my wheelchair with my suitcase, my carry on, a book… and signaling to someone at a check in desk that I was running to the next terminal as the airline was paging me. I felt so discombobulated, unnerved and exasperated as I was inching along with only minutes before take off.

At that moment, I woke up because my son made a noise in the hallway. I remember mumbling something to him about almost missing the plane. I rolled over and fell back asleep. As used to be customary, the dream continued.

I was in a taxi sitting next to my partner, a beautiful, deeply loving man, inside and out, going to the airport now on our way home. We arrived at the airport with time to spare. The taxi was easily able to stop right in front of the airline check in. As I skootched over on the seat to get out of the taxi and stood up, I suddenly realized that I did NOT need my wheelchair. I gasped with JOY, amazement and awe.

I remember thinking to myself in a very calm manner, which surprised me, that there was not a single cell in my entire body that doubted that this healing would “stick.” On more than one occasion I’ve heard of people who worry that the pain might come back, that healing wouldn’t last. I was 1,000% positively certain that it was done, over and totally completed. I felt a very, very deep calm within my core. This is what surprised me the most. I have always imagined myself screaming, yelling, jumping, doing cartwheels and dancing all at the same time at this revered, eternally awaited moment. Yet that reaction was the furthest thing from what I was feeling.

I stepped over to where the taxi driver was setting our bags. I grabbed as many as I could carry, walking along in pure joy to feel the weight of them through my arms. My partner was just beaming with love as he watched me.

Today I think the peace I felt was just about the deepest, clearest, most profound JOY I have ever felt. I didn’t feel a need to jump or yell or…. Just breathing was enough to bring me JOY!!

A friend I was with in Chicago this weekend wrote this in an email afterword:

“…I was able to see the joy, prana, exuberance, whatever you want to call it, that was emanating like a glow between you and the friends that you were talking to. All I could do was stand back, truly in awe, and reflect on the life force that was flowing all around you. I told my husband---“that woman has more power sitting in that wheelchair than you or I have in our baby finger”. Your wheelchair is not a wheelchair at all, it is a throne, a magnificent throne on wheels to transport you in a different way because you are an unconventional woman. What seemingly appears powerless is truly powerful as we know how the Divine manifests itself. As I drove home, I had to smile because here I was, painfully aware of my lack of real power, driving home in my sleek BMW, a status symbol of conventional power.

Gina, your wheelchair was necessary for you to “sit still” and focus your energies on what was critical for you at the time. Your life crises demanded all your attention and I feel that this was the means for God to get through to you. It was necessary for him to literally ground you and stabilize you this way and it had to do with your severing of ties with your family and your mother. The wheelchair was literally your support since the other family support was being removed. God, in his Mercy was kind enough to provide you with a wheelchair for stability. Although we’ll never fully understand all the reasons, you and I both know that it’s not important why. Now, I see the chair as your launching pad and, my dear, YOU HAVE BEEN LAUNCHED. You have absolutely been launched into such a higher level… I’m crying as I type this. My words fail to express how in awe I am at the way the Divine works. Something tells me that your wheelchair will not be needed much longer, that it has served its purpose. It has helped you focus on what is important, it has strengthened your bond with your son and it has already propelled you forward in your life on your Journey. I am blessed to know you. My interaction with you this weekend brought me so much perspective on myself and on my own path, and I thank you for that."

She is in awe? I received that on Tues. On Weds. night I had that lucid dream WHAT will be next? I need to continue to work at STRETCHING myself into my dreams!!! My treasured friend reminds me to see GOD in the details. That is all I was doing!!

Stay tuned for more on The Optimystic Ride!!

BLESSINGS,
Gina

AMPING UP!!!!

2010-06-04T00:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday a friend called. We hadn't spoken for months as she was in Phoenix taking care of a home she has there. She told me story after miraculous, jaw-dropping story about her life and adventures there, none of these small, daily occurrences. Finally, after about the 8th amazing story, I interrupted to say, "Do you know what you are telling me? I can hardly believe it. I am hearing you tell me to AMP UP, MAGNIFY and INTENSIVE the richness, depth and scope of my own dreams."

I have no idea from where that thought or idea came. It is just one of those clear, unmistakable feelings I get at times that I've learned to listen to without questioning it any more. Now, I don't really need to understand where it originates. I have come to simply and deeply trust it.

My next job is to get really clear on my dreams for me, for today, for tomorrow, for my life. I always have a vague, general overview but now, I need to DREAM BIGGER and clarify more. What are your dreams??

Down the Rabbit Hole

2010-05-30T19:55:00.000-07:00

Most of my literary reading in college was either in Spanish, my first major, or having to do with Political philosophy, Political Science was a second major. There are many classics that I have never read.

A while back, Caroline Myss, who is an extremely treasured teacher in my eyes and Heart, sent one of her Salon Newsletter entitled ALICE TIME: CHOOSING SIX IMPOSSIBLE THINGS TO BELIEVE IN. I have never read Alice in Wonderland. I asked my son who is a voracious reader, what exactly 'Down the Rabbit Hole' means.

He explained, "Mom, you don't know what it means because you live there all the time!! Down the Rabbit Hole refers to someone who can believe six impossible things before breakfast, and what's more, that person can make those things possible."

I laughed in delight. Sounds just like The Optimystic Ride. Off the top of my head I can think of SIX "impossible" things I've done in my life, against all odds. Now I totally get it!!

FINDING THE KEYS TO EFFORTLESS

2010-04-07T22:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, while my son and I were running some errands in Green Bay, I locked my keys in the van. Oh crap!

First step, what to do? We were parked right in front of the University of WI, Green Bay Library to which we were headed. To Rodrigo, a library of this category is akin to a cosmic Christmas.

“Damn, and we only had a half an hour,” he muttered behind me as he pushed me up the hill to the library entrance.

“Hey, it has stopped raining and you’re at the library, what better place to be stuck?”

“Oh yeah.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“You’ll have to deal with me just a little bit longer. But once someone gets here to open the van, I’ll let you go right off to the ‘stacks’.”

“Okay.” He conceded. We went to the main desk where they gave us the # to call Campus Security.

When the officer arrived, she asked me to fill out a standard form they use. Name, License, #, Address, VIN... When I got to comments, she was already handing me the keys. I looked up, smiled, and said, laughing, “It’s really hard for me to write. Could you please add in comments, “The officer was faster then I was.”’

“It must be your attitude,” she said, smiling. “It usually takes me really long.”

“You know, you might actually have a point there,” I said as I pulled out some of the bright yellow fliers I made. “You hit right on my philosophy of life and actually I think I have a message for a lot of people. For some reason, I always look at the bright side, even when it seems there is no bright side to be found. I always find it.” I had her full attention. “I am writing a book about this very thing.”, I said as I handed her a small flier. She took one look at it and said, “Not only will I vote for you, if you give me some more of those, I’ll hand them out to the rest of the guys on the squad.” Once again, I was amazed by the power of a simple heartfelt interaction!!!

LAUNCH!!!

2010-03-31T12:32:00.000-07:00

This is the birth and launching of a movement and manner of seeing life. I envision this as the seed of a gigantic Redwood!!! One of my constant, and nearly favorite, personal quotes I came up with as my illness nearly took me out and as I defied all prognosis is, "Inch by Inch Makes a Mile" ~Me.

This birth and launching could seem totally overwhelming, except that I have been in this situation so incredibly many times in my life I've learned to just START, do what I can, be very present to each moment and opportunity and even more, to love myself for what I can do and what I am doing vs. beating myself up for not getting enough done.

One thing I'd like to mention is that as this competition progresses, we, the contestants and aspiring authors, do not get a count of how this is going or a list of who has voted or not. Therefore, you may get asked to vote a whole bunch of times. While it could be viewed as a nuisance, it would be much more in my style to see it as a reminder to water the tree, to SPREAD the word asking friends, family, co-workers,... to also vote!

This is just the first of many posts so I ask you to stay tuned, comment, share and help me in getting this tree to sprout. Interesting that the competition ends around Thanksgiving, just a perfect harvest analogy!!

Have a Blessed Day!

The Optimystic Ride

My Opalescent Experience

LIVING FULLY

My Archetypes at Work

Same Book, New Chapter

Are You Courageous?

Click for Clean Water in Cameroon

Thank you unionized workers of Wisconsin!

ALLOWING PIECES TO UNFOLD

Discovery Of More Pieces To The Pain And Balance Puzzle

USDA to Fully Deregulate Monsanto's Genetically Engineered Alfalfa

GENIUS JACKASS

Are you Vibrant or Dazed?

MYSTERIOUS VS. AUTHENTIC?

What Do Your Heart and Soul Long For??

BLESSINGS BEYOND BORDERS©

~~We Can’t See The Bigger Picture~~

INTERCONNECTEDNESS

Our Divine Selves

Divine Waves of Love

New Vision

New Vision

The Perfect Cancellation

NEW Divine Playground

My Broken Self

FASCINATING

Jonathon's Angels

NO GUARANTEES

In Whose Image?

My Space in God's Grace

HOPE FOR PAIN

PIECES OF PIE

Are You TREASURED???

?????

TWISTS and TURNS

A READER, A READER!!

"Always Lost" Art Exhibit at UW-Marinette September 8

My Volcano Moment

UNKNOWN TERRITORY or UNIVERSE, “DO OVER!!!!!”

I MARVEL!!

BEing and accepting where I AM

GOLDEN GLOW

The Trivedi Effect

FIRST TRIVEDI PHONE BLESSING On 7/20/2010

WEAVINGS OF LIFE

Your Goals?

INACCESSIBLE DISABILITY HOTEL ROOM!

NURTURE YOUR SOUL!!

Who are we to judge ourselves????

HEART OPENING OPPORTUNITY

Moving Dream

Tapping Into Cosmic Divine Power

RIDE ON WITH FAITH, TRUST & RELEASE THE HOW!

COMING TOGETHER?

SHINE ON!!

THE WAVE

WHO RULES?

STRETCHING TO RIDE BIGGER & EVEN MORE OPTIMYSTICALLY!!

THE SNOT BADGE

ARCHETYPAL CLARITY!!

AIRPORT DREAM

AMPING UP!!!!

Down the Rabbit Hole

FINDING THE KEYS TO EFFORTLESS

LAUNCH!!!

We Can’t See The Bigger Picture