GENIUS JACKASS

I’m still completely, totally reeling. I made a gigantic discovery and am really not quite sure where to go with it. You may or may not know, I have a 16 year old, supposedly genius, son. I don’t take that G- word lightly but, that is what testing shows.

A few days ago, he admitted he had been attending and participating even in his college English class the entire first semester, sixteen weeks, three times a week, through sleet, rain and even snow, he would ride his bike 10 miles to his classes, only to discover that he hadn’t turned in a single solitary stitch of work!!!!!! ??*&#Y$@%#$#%@ You know the adequate translation for that in these times in our American culture!! He didn’t start out having to ride his bike, but he seemed to be developing a habit of lying. Every time I caught him, he lost a week on rides to school. We were up to the end of Feb. What??? FOUR months of lost rides? Sometimes he catches on very slowly!

Now, being the kind of person that I am, and also knowing me as well as he does, is where the real pain comes in here. He KNOWS I absolutely do not tolerate lying!! It began when I confronted him and told him to call his Professor to inquire about it. See, the deal is this. Every time he had a big paper to write or project to do for his class, I would be on him to get it done. I blocked his Facebook, I read and re-read drafts of these 10 page English papers… I critiqued, listen to, questioned, prodded and inspired him. All that just to not turn in the work?? Stunned is an understatement.

So I told him to call the University and leave a message. He said he did. I checked his phone. Trust issues? YEAH!! Guess what?? No call. I told him to email him. Guess what no email. I told him to message him through Facebook. He made up some excuse that the Prof. unfriended him. Ya think??? You can still send him a message. I could go on and on and on. I won’t.

So what why can’t he tell the truth? What is it in him that doesn’t feel safe enough or worthy enough or unwilling to tell me the truth? This is where I get all tripped up.

I asked. The answer I got was that he thought I’d kill him. Really? Truly? Do you mean like with blood and stuff? [YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! –Ed.] He said he thought I’d get mad. Really? Would I have a reason? Would it be logical for a parent to yell? [OF COURSE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Ed.] And, would not telling the truth for several months make it better when I did find out? As my friend Lydia said, “Do you think she is stupid? You knew she’d find out!!! What were you thinking?” To which I can always hear him responding, “He wasn’t!!” It is a question we have posed about quite a few characters, quite a few times over the past years.

It got worse. I asked him to do some stuff for me over break. I keep asking how it was going. He kept telling me. I knew he was lying. Finally, I checked. GUESS!!!!!! I am just --- SIGH. I am perplexed and… At times there just are no words. I thought about it for a few days. I decided to withdraw him from the University. I spoke with the Director of Student Services. I explained to her how I felt first. I believe I said: stunned, aghast and dismayed.

I briefly told her what was up and just said I had a hard time believing someone wouldn’t have told me. I used to work there. I spent hours in the library when he was in class in Sept, Oct, and part of Nov. I was told Professors would NEVER do that and that the Professor had no idea how old he was. WRONG!!! I spoke to the Prof. at the beginning of the sem. I clearly told him his age and that he is an eloquent writer, but he doesn't like to write. She assumed the Prof. didn’t know. She didn't even bother to ask IF he knew.

I told her my intention to withdraw him. I was told he could do it on the computer. I just tried. They just changed it. It didn’t work yesterday. Well, he’ll have to sign… WHAT?? WAIT, he is a minor! He doesn’t have to sign anything. Yes, he has to sign… But a minor’s signature is not legally recognized so WHY?

In a later Facebook conversation with the Professor, he informed me that it is against the law to share grades and personal information about students with parents. It's called FERPA. I looked up this act. I am NOT a lawyer. However, the laws says, “FERPA gives parents certain rights with respect to their children's education records.” Further down it states, “Generally, schools must have written permission from the parent or eligible student in order to release any information from a student's education record.” [Emphasis mine.] I have several calls in to people connected to Dept. of ED as well as to the Dept. of Ed itself.

LOOK AT THIS! Generally, I could give the school written permission to release his records but I can’t communicate with the Professor himself??

SO, I have to sign giving him permission to enroll, agreeing to be responsible for his tuition but I can’t make the decision to withdraw him? Is this nuts or what?

NOTE: In no way am I exonerating Rodrigo for what occurred or lack thereof. I should require a 10 page essay from him per week as long as he isn’t in school. I am appalled with his lying. He needs a huge dose of maturity and a kick in the butt. My point here is that if this FERPA is being correctly interpreted, it needs to change. If very young students have a tendency to do poorly their first year in college, by the way, he attended all year last year as a part time student, wouldn’t it be wiser to get the parent, student and counselor together to discuss it and to get releases of info. signed? What a waste!!

Even more ironic to this entire scenario is that since I began this blog, Rodrigo has been my editor. At least he certainly knows what a comma splice is. Does that count, “Doctor Dude?” Seems to be my specialty!! Exactly, those Ed notes are HIS! LOL At least we are still laughing, in spite of it all.